Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

With the given diagram about the popoluation percentage of four asian countries, from 1970 to 2020 and with the given predictions for 2030 and 2040. we can see that all 4 countries have shown rising population till 2030 and some are indication an decrease in the population at the end of 2040.

Starting with indonasia we can see that it had the lowest populatin among the other four countries at the start , with approx 10% , bearing that was thailand whoch was almost upto 20% , then Malaysia with with exact 30% and lastly Philippines with little more then 30% , beating all the other three countries.

Then gradually Indonasia and Thailand were gradually insscreasing at the same pace till 1990 then there was barely any increase in Indonasias population till 2020 while Thailands population increaded rapidly till 2030 and then it started to slow dowm

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the general topic and reports some relevant starting figures, including Indonesia at about 10%, Thailand near 20%, and Malaysia and the Philippines at around 30%. However, it does not provide a clear, accurate overview of the main trends: the claim that all four countries rise until 2030 and some decrease by 2040 is unsupported, as all four are projected to increase through 2040. Several descriptions are also inaccurate or incomplete; for example, Indonesia rises substantially from 1990 to 2020, rather than showing “barely any increase,” and the response omits Malaysia’s strong growth and the Philippines’ fluctuations. It also ends before completing its account. The response is three words below the required minimum. Select the key overall comparisons and report the later figures accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: the opening introduces the chart, and the next paragraph begins with a comparison of the countries’ starting positions before focusing on Indonesia and Thailand. Sequencing words such as “Starting with” and “Then” help the reader follow this limited progression. However, the response does not develop a complete structure: it lacks a concluding overview and leaves the final sentence unfinished, so the discussion has no clear endpoint. The repeated use of “gradually” and the long, loosely connected opening sentence also make the progression feel repetitive and mechanical. Grouping the information into an overview followed by paragraphs comparing the countries’ trends would create a clearer overall progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “percentage,” “predictions,” “lowest,” “increase,” and “decrease.” These choices make the general subject understandable, but the range is limited and several word-choice or spelling errors reduce clarity, such as “popoluation,” “indonasia,” “populatin,” and “insscreasing.” Some expressions are also imprecise for describing urbanisation: “population” is used where the percentage of people living in cities is meant, and “beating” is informal for comparing proportions. Use accurate terms such as “urban population share” and “accounted for,” and check spelling carefully. More precise trend vocabulary would also help distinguish steady growth, fluctuation, and a slowdown.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, for example, “Starting with Indonesia we can see that it had the lowest population…” and the sentence beginning “Then gradually…”. However, control is inconsistent, and the longer constructions are often difficult to follow. The opening is a sentence fragment beginning “With the given diagram,” followed by a lowercase “we”; the first paragraph also contains a run-on structure joined by commas. In the final sentence, “there was barely any increase” shifts awkwardly from the earlier past-tense description, and the sentence is left incomplete. Articles, punctuation, and sentence boundaries need more reliable control. Practise writing complete sentences with one clear main clause and use full stops to separate comparisons.

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