Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates the data about ratio of the residents of the four Asian countries (Malaysia, Thailand, Phillipines and Indonesia) from five decades, with projections for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, people were changing their lifestyle to urbanization which can be showed throughout the period Malaysia espically had the highest grwoth in urban citizens and the Thailand was at the bottom with lowest figures. Whereas, Indonesia and Phillipinies were also among getting the numbers of urban citizens but in fewer in comparsion.

Talking about percentages and time of urbanization in 1970 Malaysia and thailand started from 30% , both got increased gradually after 2 decades both were able to registered 45% and 50% respectively. the next 3 decades proved to be dramatically changing for both affectted malaysia positivly and thailand negative by the end of 2020 malaysia got highest in ub

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and include an overview that recognises Malaysia’s strong rise and Thailand’s comparatively low figures. However, the account is only partial: the response stops mid-sentence at “by the end of 2020 malaysia got highest in ub” and does not report the later trends or projections, despite these being central to the graph. Some figures and comparisons are also inaccurate or unclear: in 1970 Malaysia was at 30% and Thailand at 18%, not both 30%; by 1990 their values were about 46% and 30%, rather than 45% and 50%. The overview also says Thailand was at the bottom throughout, although Indonesia began lower. The response is 10 words below the required minimum. To improve, complete the comparison, accurately select key figures, and summarise the 2030–2040 forecasts.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening, an overview, and a paragraph beginning “Talking about percentages and time…”. The overview signals a general comparison, which helps the reader understand the intended focus. However, progression is difficult to follow because the final paragraph shifts between countries and time periods without a clear sequence, and it ends abruptly in the middle of a sentence. Linking words such as “Whereas” and “the next 3 decades” do not clearly connect complete ideas, while the comparison between Malaysia and Thailand is confusing. Use separate, logically ordered paragraphs—for example, overview followed by historical trends and then forecasts—and connect each comparison explicitly. Completing each sentence and maintaining a consistent chronological structure would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “projections,” “urban citizens,” “percentages,” and “gradually,” so the reader can recognise that it concerns urban population trends. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “registered” and “dramatically changing.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, making parts difficult to interpret: “ratio of the residents,” “getting the numbers,” and “affectted malaysia positivly” do not express the trends naturally. Spelling errors are frequent, including “espically,” “grwoth,” “Phillipinies,” and “comparsion.” Prefer precise chart language such as “proportion of the population,” “rose,” and “declined,” and check spelling carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences and subordinate structures, for example, “Overall, people were changing their lifestyle to urbanization which can be showed throughout the period.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and the response contains frequent errors that make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “Malaysia and thailand started from 30%,” where the verb pattern is unsuitable, and “both got increased gradually,” which uses an incorrect passive construction. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also weak: the final passage runs into an unfinished clause, and the opening overview joins contrasting ideas without a clear grammatical structure. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then add clauses using forms such as “while” and “whereas.” Check tense, subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation, and ensure every sentence is complete.

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