Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. The overview of the paragraph. Basicaly the percentage of the population living in cities 1970 the 10% population in indonesia higher 2040 in 60% they was very increased. The population thiland in 20 % to start in 1970 as well as 1990 up people 30% but increased end in 50%. There are next country in malaysia they start population in 1970 the other years popultion up and down different times but and in country 2040 50%. the end of the country in philippines population start 30% 1970 and down 1990 the end of the 2040 in 80% . The philippines country percentage of the population living was very high. The view of the graph in serwa from the population the higest country in philippines.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and mention all four countries, with some broad trends, such as Indonesia rising and Thailand reaching about 50% by 2040. However, the account is minimal and several key comparisons or figures are inaccurate: Malaysia is projected to reach about 84%, not 50%, while the Philippines is around 56%, not 80%; it is also not the highest series overall, as Malaysia leads. The overview is unclear, and the response does not select and report the main features reliably. The response is 124 words, below the required 150, which further limits its coverage. Add a clear overview and accurately compare the countries’ starting points, changes and projected endpoints.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a loose country-by-country order, so a reader can see that you are attempting to describe the graph. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the opening phrase “The overview of the paragraph” does not introduce a meaningful overview. Connections between details are often difficult to follow, as in “they start population in 1970 the other years popultion up and down different times.” The final sentences repeat the claim that the Philippines is highest rather than bringing the main trends together. Organise the response into an introduction, a concise overview and two detail paragraphs, and use clear links to show contrasts and changes over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant basic terms, including “percentage,” “population,” “increased,” and “start,” which show awareness of the graph topic. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several word choices or forms make the meaning unclear: “the overview of the paragraph,” “the end of the country,” and “the view of the graph in serwa” do not communicate precise data descriptions. There are also spelling errors such as “Basicaly,” “thiland,” and “popultion.” Build a more accurate set of trend and comparison expressions, and check spelling and collocations so that your descriptions are easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe changes over time and includes a few simple clauses, but sentence structures are very limited and frequent grammatical errors sometimes distort the intended meaning. For example, “the 10% population in indonesia higher 2040 in 60%” lacks a clear subject–verb structure, while “they was very increased” has incorrect agreement and verb form. Tense and sentence boundaries are also difficult to control in longer strings of ideas. Practise writing complete sentences with a subject and verb, such as “Indonesia’s urban population rose from about 14% in 1970 to 52% in 2020.” Then combine accurate simple sentences with a few controlled comparisons.

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