Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the line graph illustrates percentage lf population in four Asian countries living in cities (Philippines, malaysia, Thaïlande, Indonesia)from1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

overall, population in Malaysia and Indonesia increased considerably throughout the period. Philippines and Thailand fluctuated and rose gradually.

in detail, Philippines in 1970 increased gradually the population 30 to 70 in 2010 then rose slowly to around 85 population in 2040, in 1970 Indonesia had slightly than 10 population it increased gradually to 60 in 2040.

one the other hand Thailand increased amd remained stable until 2030

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and period, and your overview correctly notes substantial growth in Malaysia and Indonesia. However, the response covers the graph only minimally and does not report the main comparisons accurately. For example, the Philippines rose to about 48% in 1990, then dipped before reaching roughly 56% in 2040; it did not rise from 30% to 70% by 2010 or to 85% by 2040. Indonesia began at about 14%, not below 10%, and Thailand did not remain stable until 2030. The response is also 77 words, below the required 150, leaving key trends and figures undeveloped. Include a fuller overview and accurate comparisons across all four countries.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction, an overview, and a detail paragraph. The overview also signals a comparison between the countries. However, progression is limited because the final paragraph gives only a few disconnected claims and does not systematically compare the series or time periods. The linking phrase “one the other hand” is used inaccurately, and the detail paragraph shifts abruptly from the Philippines to Indonesia and then Thailand. Use clear paragraphing to group related trends, and connect comparisons with accurate transitions such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile.” This would make the organisation easier to follow and reduce the impression of a list of incomplete observations.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “line graph,” “increased,” “fluctuated,” and “remained stable,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations make the meaning unclear, such as “increased the population 30 to 70” and “around 85 population.” There are also spelling and form errors, including “lf,” “Thaïlande,” and “amd.” Aim for precise language for proportions and trends, for example, “the urban population share rose from … to …” and “reached approximately …%.” Avoid repeating “population” where “proportion” or “figure” is more suitable, and check country names and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer sentence forms, including the overview’s paired comparison and the sentence beginning “in 1970 Indonesia…”. However, sentence structures are limited, and frequent errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to interpret. For instance, “Philippines in 1970 increased gradually the population 30 to 70 in 2010” lacks a clear subject and has an incomplete comparison structure; “Indonesia had slightly than 10 population” is also grammatically unclear. The opening sentence has missing spacing and punctuation, while the final sentence lacks a clear grammatical connection between the rise and stability. Practise complete subject–verb sentences and patterns such as “the percentage rose from X to Y.”

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