Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the percentage of population in four (Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia) cities of Asia from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, population among all cities rose significantly. While Malaysia stood at the highest, Thailand recorded the least population. Indonesia and Philippines showed fluctuations.

Malaysia and Philippines initially recorded almost 30% in 1970 and went up to approximately 45% and 49% respectively in 1990. While Malaysia hiked to nearly 76% in 2020 and secured the highest place in the graph, Philippines progressively declined and accounts for almost 40% in 2010, followed by a slight rose to nearly 45% in 2020. Indonesia and Thailand showed almost 13% and 19% respectively in 1970 and gradually grew to nearly 30 in 2000. While Indonesia experienced a sharp rose to almost 50% in 2020, Thailand steadily reached to almost 30% in 2020.

Predictions records population in Malaysia climbs to nearly 85%, nearly 60% in Indonesia, almost 50% in Philippines and nearly 45% in Thailand by 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern and make relevant comparisons: Malaysia becomes the most urbanised country, while Thailand remains among the lowest, and you note Indonesia’s strong rise. Several figures are also broadly accurate, including Malaysia at about 76% in 2020 and the Philippines’ rise and subsequent dip. However, the overview is not fully precise: “population among all cities rose significantly” is unclear, and the Philippines and Indonesia did not both show fluctuations across the period—Indonesia rose consistently. Some details are underdeveloped or inaccurate: Thailand is about 34% in 2020, not 30%, and the 2040 forecast is about 50%, not 45%. The final forecast sentence also omits the 2030 stage. A clearer overview and more accurate coverage of the later years would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail sections, and it generally moves from earlier figures to later ones. Comparisons between Malaysia and the Philippines, and between Indonesia and Thailand, help organise the information. However, some linking is mechanical or confusing: repeated use of “While” creates relationships that are not always clear, and “Malaysia and Philippines initially recorded…” groups the countries even though their subsequent trends differ. The overview’s statement that all countries rose significantly also conflicts with the later description of the Philippines’ decline. Improve progression by grouping countries according to their trends and using clearer references, so each paragraph develops one comparison without contradictory summaries.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, including “fluctuations,” “declined,” “gradually grew” and “sharp rise,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are, however, several inaccurate or unnatural choices that limit precision. “Population among all cities” does not clearly describe the proportion of people living in cities, while “hiked” is too informal for this report. “A slight rose” and “a sharp rose” use the wrong word form, and “secured the highest place” is an awkward collocation. Some repetition of “nearly” and “almost” also makes the account less varied. Choose standard graph-reporting expressions and use them consistently to describe increases, decreases and proportions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “While,” and most of the information remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with articles, agreement and sentence construction. For example, “in four … cities of Asia” incorrectly suggests the graph concerns four cities rather than four countries, and “Philippines progressively declined and accounts” shifts tense within a past-time description. “Predictions records population” has an agreement and sentence-structure problem, while “Thailand steadily reached to almost 30%” uses an incorrect grammatical pattern. Keep the past tense for historical data and use “is predicted to” for forecasts. More accurate sentence patterns and careful checking of agreement would improve control.

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