Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the proportion of the population living in cities namely Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia between 1970 to 2020 and projection for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, the percentage of total population significantly increased in all countries from 1970 to 2020 and expecting further growth over two decade, Whereas Malaysian population percentage dramatically increased and Thailand accounted for the lowest growth. In contrast, Philippines and Indonesia showed a notable growth over six decade and continously increasing.

In 1970, the proportion of Malaysian population was around 30%, and it substantially increased to 75% by 2020, and it is expected to increase 85% by 2040. Whereas, Thailand population stood at 19% in 1970, and slighltly increased by 11 percentage point in 2020. By 2040, it is going to reach 45%. Population figure remained below compared to other countries.

On the other hand, Philippines population was approximately 30%, and it overtook Malaysia and peaked to 45% in 1990 then fell to 40% by 2010, This figure is going to reach 50% by 2040. While, Indonesia was having lowest population in 1970, was around 15%, continous increase in population overtook Thailand and Philippines in 2010, astood at 46%, this figure rose to 49% by 2020 and consistantly growing expecting to touch 60% by 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You provide a clear overview of the broad upward trend and identify Malaysia’s strong rise and Thailand’s comparatively modest growth. The response also selects relevant turning points, such as the Philippines peaking in 1990 and Indonesia overtaking the Philippines and Thailand by 2010. This covers the task well, with some features developed more fully than others. However, several details are inaccurate: Malaysia is about 76% in 2020 and 84% in 2040, rather than 75% and 85%; Thailand rises from about 18% to 34% by 2020, not by 11 percentage points; and Indonesia is about 52% in 2020, not 49%. The overview also overstates Thailand as having the lowest growth, since its increase is smaller than Malaysia’s but not the smallest overall. More precise comparisons would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs that group the countries. Comparisons such as “On the other hand” help signal a shift to the other series, and the reader can generally follow the chronology. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly the repeated use of “Whereas” and “While” to begin sentences without completing a clear contrast. The overview also combines several ideas in a long sentence, making the relationships between trends less clear. In the final paragraph, the Philippines and Indonesia figures are packed together, and references such as “this figure” can be ambiguous. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each comparison directly to the relevant country and period.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “proportion,” “peaked,” “overtook,” and “percentage point,” and these choices help describe trends and comparisons. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “substantially increased” and “projection.” However, some collocations and word choices are imprecise: “Thailand accounted for the lowest growth” is not a natural way to describe the trend, and “population percentage” is less clear than “urban population share.” Spelling errors in “continously,” “slighltly,” and “consistantly” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend language and check spelling carefully; avoid using several near-synonyms for increase when a simpler, accurate verb would be clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including clauses with “and,” “whereas,” and “while,” and the main message is usually understandable. Some sentences are also controlled, such as “In 1970, the proportion of Malaysian population was around 30%.” However, grammatical errors occur in sentence construction, tense, and punctuation. The opening says “between 1970 to 2020,” where the time expression needs a consistent pattern; “it is expected to increase 85%” is missing a grammatical link before the figure; and “Indonesia was having lowest population … was around 15%” is an incomplete, poorly joined construction. Several long sentences use commas where a full stop or clearer clause structure is needed. Build complex sentences carefully and check that each clause has a complete subject and verb.

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