Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

THE GRAPH BELOW DISPLAYS ABOUT THE POPULATION OF FOUR ASIAN COUNTRY,HOW MANY PEOPLES LIVING ON THE CITY AND WHAT IS THE EXPECTED NUMBER IN FUTURE.

SO IN THAT GRAPH WE CAN SEE,IN YEAR 1970 THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLES WERE LIVING IN CITY WAS THE LEAST.AS WE CAN SEE ONLY 12% OF INDONESIAN,19% OF THAI,30% OF MALAYSIANS AND 31% OF PHILIPPINES.BUT BY THE TIME WAS PASSING IN 1980 EVERY COUNTRIES POPULATION WAS GOING TOWARD THE CITY.

BUT MALAYSIA INCRESING TO LIVING ON A CITY IS GROWING EVERY YEAR.AS WE CAN SEE FROM [redacted phone] THEY DID NOT GET DOWN.ON THE OTHER HAND PHILLIPPINES WAS NIT STABLE ON THAT GRAPH THEY WERE ONCE RISING AND LATER FALIING.BUT FOLLOWING THE INCREASE OF MALAYSIA THILAND AND INDONESIA WAS ALSO RISING. WHILE INDONESIA WAS SECOND AT THE END OF THE YEAR.AND THE SECOND LAST WAS PHILIPPINES.BUT BOTH OF THE CONTRIES MAJORITY OF LIVING ON CITY WAS NEVER DICREASD.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the topic and mention several relevant trends, including Malaysia’s steady rise and the Philippines’ rise and subsequent fall before increasing again. However, the account only partially reports the main features: there is no clear overview of the overall pattern or comparison of the countries’ final levels. Some figures are inaccurate: for 1970, Indonesia is about 14%, Thailand 18%, Malaysia 30% and the Philippines 32%, rather than 12%, 19%, 30% and 31%. The claim that Indonesia was second at the end is also incorrect; it was below Malaysia but above the Philippines and Thailand. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview and select accurate start- and end-point comparisons to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has some organisation: it begins by introducing the graph, then discusses the starting figures and later trends. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the ideas are grouped into long, loosely connected paragraphs, and there is no distinct overview to guide the reader. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” and “While” are attempted, but their relationships are sometimes unclear; for example, “While Indonesia was second at the end of the year” does not clearly connect to the preceding comparison. Several sentences also repeat the idea that countries were rising. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and key comparisons, and connect each point explicitly to the relevant country and period.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “population,” “increasing,” “rising” and “falling,” so the general subject can be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, such as “living on the city,” “the majority of peoples” and “was not stable on that graph.” Repetition of “rising” and “city” also makes the description less precise. Spelling errors, including “incresing,” “faliing” and “dicer easd” (intended as “decreased”), further reduce clarity. Build a small set of accurate trend expressions and use them consistently, for example “the proportion living in cities,” “rose steadily,” and “fluctuated.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and contrasts, but the range of sentence structures is limited and complex attempts are often faulty. For example, “In year 1970 the majority of peoples were living in city was the least” has an unclear clause structure, while “every countries population was going toward the city” contains agreement and possessive problems. Articles and plurals are also frequently missing or incorrect, as in “on a city” and “four Asian country.” Punctuation is inconsistent, with many sentences joined or separated unclearly. Practise accurate simple comparison sentences first, then add controlled clauses: “In 1970, the urban population was lowest in Indonesia, at about 14%.”

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