Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph shows information about the percenatge of the population in four Asia countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020,with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, malaysisa population increase gradully and highest the others three country . thailand city population is the lowest in compered other cities.

To beign with, malaysia in 1970 starting point 30 and they increse 1990 and after thatr they increase grsadully and reached 90% in 2040. Thaliand sand indonesia alomost starting point was same 20 and near about 15 % indonesia increase much more compered with thailand annd reached 50% in 2040. indonesia reah 40%.

Futhermore, philippines starting point same at malaysia ands they increase gradully and stay 50%in 1990 after that they downfall start and reach indonesia and thaailand centre around 45%,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the topic and make an attempt at an overview, noting Malaysia’s rise and the comparatively low urban share in Thailand. However, the overview is inaccurate: Malaysia is highest by 2040, but Thailand is not the lowest throughout, and Indonesia rises above the Philippines by 2020. Several figures and trends are also misreported: Malaysia reaches about 84%, not 90%, in 2040; the Philippines peaks at about 48% in 1990, not 50%, and later recovers rather than continuing to fall. The account is incomplete and some comparisons are unclear. The response is 116 words, 34 short of the required 150, so it does not meet the minimum. Include a fuller, accurate overview and select key figures to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by an overview and two detail paragraphs, and phrases such as “Overall,” “To begin with” and “Furthermore” signal stages in the discussion. However, the progression within the detail paragraphs is difficult to follow. The sentence beginning “Thailand and Indonesia almost starting point was same” combines several comparisons without clearly distinguishing the countries or their figures, and the final sentence about the Philippines is incomplete in meaning. Linking words are used, but they do not consistently clarify how the information relates. Group the countries or time periods more clearly, and use complete sentences that make each comparison explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “population,” “increase,” “reached” and “starting point,” so the reader can recognise that the response describes changes over time. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “malaysisa,” “grsadully,” “downfall start” and “centre around.” Country names are also inconsistently spelled, including “Thaliand” and “indonesia.” Use standard forms and more precise trend language, such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” “peaked at” and “accounted for.” This would make the comparisons clearer and reduce repetition of basic words such as “increase.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts simple statements and some longer comparisons, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently affect clarity. For example, “Malaysia in 1970 starting point 30” lacks a clear verb, while “they increase 1990” has an unclear subject and incorrect tense. The sentence about Thailand and Indonesia also lacks a complete grammatical structure, and the final clause, “reach Indonesia and Thailand centre around 45%,” is difficult to interpret. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, including the comma joined directly to “with predictions.” Practise complete subject–verb sentences and use past forms for earlier years and future forms for predictions. A few accurate comparative structures would add range without sacrificing clarity.

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