Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph demonstrates the proportion of people living in cities in 4 different Asian countries between 1970 to 2020, and it also illustrates the prediction for [redacted phone].

Overall, The people of malaysia mostly prefer cities to live and it will be increase in future, but in 1970 Indonesians less prefer less the city life but after some decades there population also raised in the cities and in future it will surpass the population of Thailand and Philippines.

In 1970 around 30 percent population of Malaysia and Philippines lived in cities but after decades the proportion of population in cities of Malaysia elevated dramatically , so the recorded growth was upto 75% poopulation in 2020 and in 2030 and 2040 it will grow upto 85%. In contrast, the Philippines show only elevation of population in 1980 approximately to 50% and then dropped, In 2020 Philippines population was less than 50% in 2020 and in 2030 and 2040 it will remain approximately same.

Thailand and Indonesia shows lowest proportion of people living in cities which was arround 18 to 15% in 1970, however Thailand shows major increase in there population in cities and surpasses the Indonesia and Phillipines and the recorded population was upto 55% in 2020 and in futiuure it will increase further.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad upward trend in urbanisation and include an overview, noting Malaysia’s high level and Indonesia’s growth. However, several key comparisons are inaccurate or unclear, which limits how fully the graph is reported. Malaysia rises to about 76% in 2020 and is forecast to reach roughly 84% by 2040, rather than 85% in both future years. The Philippines peaks near 48% in 1990, then fluctuates and is projected to rise to about 56%, not remain approximately the same. Most importantly, Thailand does not reach 55% in 2020; it is around 34%, while Indonesia reaches about 52% and is the country that overtakes the Philippines and Thailand. Select the main trends accurately and distinguish the four series throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. Linking expressions such as “Overall” and “In contrast” help signal relationships, and the discussion broadly moves from higher figures to the lower series. However, the progression becomes difficult to follow when the final paragraph says Thailand surpasses Indonesia and the Philippines, despite the figures showing Indonesia’s stronger rise. Some references are also unclear, as in “there population” and “it will remain approximately same,” where the country or trend is not precisely identified. Grouping Malaysia and the Philippines together, then Thailand and Indonesia, can work, but compare each pair consistently and use clear references to avoid contradictory claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “proportion,” “prediction,” “elevated,” and “in contrast,” showing an attempt to describe trends rather than simply list figures. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise for a graph report: “people … prefer cities to live” interprets the data as preference, while “recorded growth was upto” and “major increase in there population” are awkward collocations. Spelling errors such as “poopulation,” “arround,” “futiuure,” and “Phillipines” are noticeable, and repeated use of “population” limits variety. Aim for precise neutral terms such as “the urban population share,” “rose,” “declined,” and “is projected to reach.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast clause beginning “In contrast” and a sentence linking past and future trends. However, errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms are frequent enough to make some statements difficult to interpret. For example, “between 1970 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern, and “it will be increase” has an incorrect verb form. There are also agreement and article problems in “Thailand and Indonesia shows” and “the proportion of population,” as well as inconsistent capitalisation after “Overall.” Practise accurate past-tense descriptions and future passive forms such as “is projected to rise,” and check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries.

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