Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph ullustrate the proportion of the population living in four asian cities

overall they thing in 204O the population are increased. In 1970 the philippines and malysia had the highest percentage point whereas the thailand and indonesia has the lowest proportion, the trend of phillippines and malysia are crossed many time and malysia level off , the trend of indonesia surger than phillipines and thailand in particular, although the trend of thailand and indonesia are crossed one time in 2000 when the population of indonesia are rosed than thailand and they predected the malaysia trend it will overtake 80% beetween 2030 and 2040, as a result the population trend of malysia and thailand and indonesia are a gradual climb only the trend of phillipines are fluctate and change significantly sometimes be instable after 1990 when the trend are accross with population trend of malysia and the trend are across the population trend of indonesia although increase after 2010

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the general subject and mention several relevant patterns, including Malaysia’s rise above 80% by 2040 and the Philippines’ fluctuations. However, the overview is unclear (“overall they thing in 2040 the population are increased”), and some comparisons are inaccurate or difficult to interpret. In 1970, the Philippines was highest, but Malaysia was not: it was slightly below the Philippines, while Thailand and Indonesia were lowest. The claim that Thailand and Indonesia crossed in 2000 is also incorrect; their figures were approximately equal then, and Indonesia moved ahead afterward. To make the report more complete, state the main overall ranking and contrast Malaysia’s strong growth with the Philippines’ uneven trend and Thailand’s slower increase.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to group the information around country trends and to use linking expressions such as “whereas,” “although,” and “as a result.” These help signal comparisons, but the response is presented as one long, difficult-to-follow sequence, with no clear paragraphing or progression from an overview to supporting details. Several ideas are joined together without clear relationships, especially the final section about the Philippines crossing other trends. Some references, such as “they” and “the trend,” are ambiguous, and repeated use of “trend” makes the connections less clear. Organise the response into a brief introduction, a clear overview, and separate detail paragraphs, using shorter sentences and explicit comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “proportion,” “percentage,” “fluctuate,” “gradual climb,” and “overtake,” showing an attempt to describe changes rather than simply list figures. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning hard to follow, such as “they thing,” “surger,” “level off,” and “instable.” Country names and other words are also frequently misspelled, including “malysia,” “phillippines,” and “beetween.” Aim for accurate, conventional collocations for graph descriptions: for example, say that a figure “rose sharply,” “remained stable,” or “fluctuated,” rather than describing a country’s “trend” as crossing another population trend.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences using clauses and contrast markers, but these structures are often faulty and make relationships difficult to understand. Errors include subject–verb agreement (“the population are increased,” “the trend … are crossed”), tense and verb forms (“are rosed”), and missing or incorrect sentence boundaries. Articles and sentence construction are also inconsistent, as in “they predected the malaysia trend it will overtake.” These problems occur throughout, so the reader must often infer the intended meaning. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine them carefully. For example: “Malaysia’s urban population is predicted to exceed 80% by 2040.”

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