Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with prediction for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, percentage of the population living in all cities are significantly rising throughout the period and the population of Malaysia is highest and Thailand has the smallest growth over the period.

In 1970, the percentage of the population living in Malaysia was 30% and it increased to 85% in 2040. whereas, Philippines has fluctuated population throughout from 1970 it was around 30% and in 2010 it goes down and again rise to 50%.

In 1970 Thailand and Indonesia population grown with 20% and 11% respectively, and Thailand increased to 60% around and Indonesia rise to 60%,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the development of the task. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is incomplete. You have not fully described the data for all countries across the entire timeframe, and the conclusion is abrupt. To improve, ensure you provide a more detailed breakdown of the data points for each country, especially for the predicted years (2030 and 2040). The overview is present but lacks the depth required to fully summarize the key features of the graph. Aim to expand your analysis of the comparative data to ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed thoroughly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. You use some cohesive devices like 'whereas' and 'respectively', but their application is occasionally awkward, such as in the final sentence where the structure breaks down. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the data. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects logically to the previous one. Improving the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs will also enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks the precision expected at higher bands. Phrases like 'population grown' and 'rise to' are used repeatedly. You have attempted to use some specific terminology, but there are errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'fluctuated population' instead of 'the population fluctuated'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and focus on using precise collocations. Avoid using simplistic phrasing and aim for more sophisticated descriptors to convey the trends shown in the graph more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'percentage of the population living in all cities are' should be 'is', and 'Thailand and Indonesia population grown' lacks the necessary auxiliary verbs and correct tense. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and the abrupt ending of the final sentence. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that your verb tenses are consistent when describing past trends and future predictions. Proofreading for basic sentence structure errors will help improve your accuracy significantly.

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