Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the information about the percentage of the world's population across four different Asian countries residing in cities between 1970 and 2020 and making predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, a common trend that has been noticed is that, as the year passes, the percentage of the population also increases. The two countries have observed a significant rise, and another two have fluctuated throughout the period.

However, looking at the Philippines, this had remained stable for a decade and rose drastically for another decade, for another two decades, it dropped slightly before experiencing continuous growth. On the other hand, Thailand follows a similar pattern, it rose for two decades and fluctuated throughout the period till 2020. It is expected to rise drastically in 2030 and 2040.

Nevertheless, nobody can compare the growth of Malaysia, it rose for a decade, for another decade it rose by a small percentage compared to the first decade, and then it experienced a sharp growth. It is expected to rise by 80% and 82% in 2030 and 2040, respectively. The last country, Indonesia, follows a similar pattern, it has significant growth throughout the period, and it is expected to rise by 59% and 61% in 2030 and 2040, each.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four countries and mentions the time frame and predictions. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The description of trends is occasionally inaccurate (e.g., claiming the Philippines remained stable for a decade when the graph shows a clear upward trend). Furthermore, the overview is vague; stating that 'two countries have observed a significant rise, and another two have fluctuated' is not fully supported by the data, as most countries show a general upward trajectory. To reach a higher band, you should focus on identifying the most significant data points, such as the starting and ending percentages, and making more precise comparisons between the countries rather than describing each one in isolation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Nevertheless, nobody can compare the growth of Malaysia'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing (e.g., 'the last country') could be smoother. While the progression of ideas is generally logical, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used to connect ideas more fluidly would enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends like 'significant rise', 'fluctuated', and 'continuous growth'. However, there is a lack of variety and some imprecise word choices. For instance, 'as the year passes' is a bit informal and repetitive. The phrase 'nobody can compare the growth' is not appropriate for an academic report. To improve, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'plateaued', or 'surpassed', and avoid conversational phrasing to maintain a formal academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as comma splices ('Thailand follows a similar pattern, it rose...') and issues with tense consistency and article usage. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. To achieve a higher score, you should work on using a wider range of complex structures, such as relative clauses or participle phrases, and ensure that punctuation is used correctly to separate independent clauses.

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