Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the proportion of the population in four countries such as Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia.
Overall, it is clear that the percentage of the population increased significantly in Malaysia, whereas Thailand had the lowest share of population. In addition, the share of the population in the Philippines fluctuated over the period.
In 1970, the Philippines had the highest proportion of the population(31%) while, the figure for Malaysia was 30%. In 1990, the population of Malaysia rose rapidly at 45%, meanwhile it grew noticeably in the Philippines population around 49%. After 2000, the proportion in Malaysia escalated steadily at 60% and it is projected to reach at 80% up in 2040. On the other hand, the population of the Philippines in the city plummeted slightly at 45% and in 2040, it will account for 52% respectively.
Approximately 19% and 14% of the people lived in Thailand and Indonesia in 1970. After that, in 1990, the figure rose in Thailand and Indonesia. Subsequently, after 2000, the population of Indonesia surged substantially at 28% and by 2040 it will record around 60%. In 2000, the figure remained the same in Thailand and after that it will remain at 45%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response covers all four countries and the time frame provided. You have identified the main trends, such as Malaysia's significant growth and the fluctuations in the Philippines. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, listing data points rather than synthesising the information to highlight key comparisons. For instance, you mention the Philippines and Malaysia separately in the second paragraph, but a more integrated approach would better highlight the crossover point. Additionally, some data points are slightly inaccurate or confusingly phrased, such as stating the Philippines population 'plummeted' when the graph shows a more moderate decline. To reach a higher band, focus on grouping data by trends rather than by country.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organised into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'On the other hand', and 'Subsequently' to link ideas. However, the flow within paragraphs is occasionally repetitive, and the use of cohesive devices can feel a bit mechanical. The referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the description of the Philippines/Malaysia and Thailand/Indonesia could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different groups of countries, which helps the reader follow the progression of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'escalated', 'surged', and 'projected'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'the figure for Malaysia was 30%' (it is better to say 'the figure for Malaysia stood at 30%') and 'reach at 80% up'. The phrase 'the Philippines population around 49%' is also slightly awkward. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the precision is not always consistent. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and adverbs would help improve the sophistication of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the Philippines population around 49%' (missing a preposition or verb) and 'reach at 80% up' (incorrect preposition usage). You also have some issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'the population of the Philippines in the city plummeted'. Despite these errors, the meaning is generally clear and communication is not impeded. To improve, focus on ensuring that prepositions are used correctly with verbs of change and that sentence structures are varied more naturally.
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