Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph depicts the population in percentage for four Asian countries living in urban areas spanning from 1970 to 2040. It consists of 4 different countries from asia continent that are Plilippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia.

Overall, Malaysia has the highest popullation living in cities throughout the duration, Where as Indonesia started at the very low percentage and achieved second largest population leaving in urban area around 2040. In contrast, thailand has the least people living in the cities.

Firstly, Malaysia commenced at 30% in1970 which further rocketed and reached 70% in 2020, Moreover it is forecasted to reached 80% of total population living in cities till 2040. The most notable chnage was seen in Indonesia graph which started with around 10% in 1970 escalated to 50% in 2020 and predicited to approx 50% of tota people living in urban area by 2040. Both Philippines and Indonesia has similar trend throughout the period, while Indonesia has less population in cities.

Secondaly Philippines had around 30% of total people in cities in 1970 which further ros slightly till 50% in 1990 further remained platuaed till 2040. Philippines and Indonesia converged in 2010 with 40% of popullation in the cities and later diverged. Thailand and Indonesia also conerged around 2000 with approx 25% people in cities and furher diverged.

In conclusion, we can state that Malaysia had the highes people in the cities followed by Indonesia. Phillipens and Thailand popluation is less in the cities rather than urban cities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all parts of the task and identifies key trends, such as Malaysia's consistent growth and the convergence points between countries. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting; for instance, you state Indonesia reached 50% in 2020 and remained there until 2040, whereas the graph shows a continued upward trend. Additionally, the final summary sentence is confusing, as it contrasts 'population in the cities' with 'urban cities', which are synonymous. While the main features are highlighted, the precision of the data reporting needs improvement to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondaly', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward. There are also issues with referencing; for example, the phrase 'Philippines and Indonesia has similar trend' lacks proper grammatical connection to the previous sentence. Paragraphing is present, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. The overall progression of ideas is logical, but the mechanical nature of the linking words prevents a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts at descriptive verbs like 'rocketed', 'escalated', and 'converged'. However, there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'popullation', 'Plilippines', 'chnage', 'predicited', 'Secondaly', 'platuaed', 'conerged', 'highes') and some word choice issues, such as 'urban cities' and 'leaving' instead of 'living'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not fully impede communication. To improve, focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and using more precise terminology for data trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Philippines and Indonesia has similar trend') and incorrect preposition usage ('in 1970 which further ros slightly'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors indicates a lack of control over complex structures. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammar and ensuring consistent verb tenses would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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