Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, x-axis shows the percentage of total population and y-axis shows the number of year. The popualtion of Malaysia rapidly rise whereas most fluctuation can be sttn in the population of Philippines.

To commence with, the population of Indonesia was lowest in 1970 and then it shoot up after 1970. While, Thailand showed a constant growth of population without more ups and down. The population of Indonesia is slightly emerged with the population of Philippines and Thailand.

Furthermore, the population of Malaysia will be at peak in 2040. After 1990, the growth of Malaysia rapidly increase. The population of philippines gramatically decline from 1990 to 2010 then it showed a increase in growth in 2010.

In conclusion, Malaysia is a only Asian country that showed a significant increase in growth in present or in future. The population of Indonesia is increase from 2000 to 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the task but fails to accurately interpret the graph. You incorrectly identified the axes, stating the x-axis shows the percentage and the y-axis shows the year, when the graph clearly plots percentage against time. Furthermore, the description of the data is inaccurate; for example, you claim the population of Indonesia was the lowest in 1970, whereas the graph shows Thailand at the lowest point. The trends described are often vague or factually incorrect based on the provided visual data. To improve, focus on identifying the correct data points and trends (e.g., steady growth, sharp increases, or plateaus) and ensure your summary reflects the actual information presented in the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is hindered by inaccurate data reporting and confusing transitions. While you use some cohesive devices like 'To commence with' and 'Furthermore', they are sometimes used mechanically or inappropriately. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the trends of the four countries. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that your sentences flow logically from one to the next by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring your pronouns clearly refer back to the correct subjects.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'rise', 'increase', and 'growth'. There are also several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'slightly emerged' and 'gramatically decline', which do not accurately describe the data. Spelling errors, such as 'popualtion', 'sttn', and 'philippines' (capitalization), also detract from the overall quality. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to describing trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'plateau', 'soar', or 'gradual increase', and ensure you proofread for basic spelling and capitalization errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The population of Indonesia is increase') and incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'The population of Malaysia will be at peak'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the overall control of grammar is weak. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring consistent verb tenses when describing past and future data, and practicing subject-verb agreement.

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