Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph provides information about the percentage of the population in Phillipines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia between 1970 and 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, in the initial year Phillipines and Malaysia had highest percentage in population. While, Thailand and Indonesia had lowest rate of population in initial year. The percentage of Phillipines and Indonesia were increased steadily.

On the one hand, Indonesia had lowest percentage of population in the year 1970 which was about 12%. Indonesia population rate increased rapidly and reached at about 45% in the year 2010. Some scientist predict that Indonesia population rate will be near 55% and 60% in the year 2030 and 2040 respectively. In addition, Thailand population percentage was alo lowest in the first year which was about 19% . It increased upto 25% in the year 1990 and after 1990, it remains steadily till the year 2010. In the future, the percentage of population in Thailand will be increased and reached 30% and 35% in the year 2030 and 2040 respectively.

On the second hand, Phillipines and Malaysia had highest percentage of population in the year 1970 which were about 31% and 30% respectively. Malaysia increased steadily and reached about 70% in the year 2010. In the future, it will be at 80% in the year 2040. While , Phillipines had increased the population till the year 1990 but after the year 1990 , Phillipines rate of population suddenly decreased and reached about 40% in the year 2010 . In the future it increased and reached at 50%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the rapid growth in Indonesia and the decline in the Philippines after 1990. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you stated that the Philippines and Malaysia had the highest percentages in 1970, but the graph shows Malaysia and the Philippines were indeed high, yet your description of the trends could be more precise. The inclusion of future predictions is well-handled. To reach a higher band, ensure that your summary highlights the most significant differences and trends more clearly without listing too many individual data points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the second hand' to structure your argument. However, the use of 'On the second hand' is non-standard; 'On the other hand' would be more appropriate. Additionally, some transitions between sentences feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing could be improved to ensure smoother flow between the data points and the analysis.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'steadily', 'rapidly', and 'predictions'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'reached at about 45%' (should be 'reached about 45%') and 'remains steadily' (should be 'remained steady'). There is also some repetition of basic verbs like 'increased' and 'reached'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for growth and decline, and pay closer attention to preposition usage after verbs of movement.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Phillipines and Malaysia had highest percentage') and missing articles ('the' is often omitted). You also have some punctuation errors, such as spaces before commas ('While , Phillipines'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on article usage and consistent tense control—especially when discussing future predictions versus past trends—will help improve your accuracy.

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