Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Here the line graph shows that the percentage of the population in four asian countries in cities from last 2 decades and also predictions for the year 2030 and 2040.

Overall, all these four countries are philippines,malaysia,thailand,indonesia

shows upward trend in graph. But malaysia graph was shows highest growth compare with other three countries.

On one hand, in 1970 less than 20% of the population living indonesia and afterward the graph was significant increase. In addition, thailand also shows same type of pattern but in 1990 to 2020 the graph was stable so after that the graph was slowely increase.

On other hand, In contrast in 1970 malaysia and philippines these both countries total population around 30%. The philippines graph has very flacuation in the graph fist 1 decade they had stable after 1 decade the increase after from 2 decade the decrease and after 2010 the shows slowely growth. in contrast malaysia shows steadily growth at the biggining.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the task by identifying the main trends, but the coverage is uneven. While you mention all four countries, the description of the data is often vague or inaccurate. For example, you state that the Philippines had 'very flacuation' (fluctuation), but the graph shows a relatively steady upward trend. Furthermore, the timeframes are misidentified; you mention 'last 2 decades' when the data spans from 1970 to 2040. To improve, ensure you accurately extract data points (e.g., specific percentages) to support your observations rather than relying on general descriptions. The overview is present but lacks clarity regarding the overall trajectory of the four nations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear cohesive devices. Transitions like 'On one hand' and 'On other hand' are used, but they do not effectively contrast the information provided. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'the philippines graph has very flacuation in the graph fist 1 decade', which is difficult to follow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the readability and flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'graph', 'shows', and 'increase'. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard phrasing, such as 'flacuation' instead of 'fluctuation', 'slowely' (spelling error), and 'at the biggining' (spelling error). While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the presence of spelling errors prevent a higher score. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'climb', 'plateau', 'surge', or 'gradual', and ensure correct spelling throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'malaysia graph was shows'), missing articles (e.g., 'living indonesia'), and incorrect sentence structure (e.g., 'all these four countries are philippines,malaysia,thailand,indonesia shows upward trend'). You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that prepositions are used correctly. Proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization is also essential.

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