Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph below depicts the detail about percentage of people growth in Philippine, Malaysia ,Thailand ,Indonesia living in urban areas from 1970 to 2020 with expectation for 2030 to 2040. The calibration of data is given in percentage.
From the given information , in 1970 Philippines and Malaysia total population living in cities was around 30% .Whereas the population growth intersect each other in 1990 after that rapidly growth of Philippines population is continued till 2040 at 80%. Moreover population of Malaysia started to decline till 2010 at 35%.
On the remaining data, The percentage of total population of Thailand and Indonesia lies between 10% to 20% in 1970. Furthermore the population started to incline and crossed each other in 2000 at 25%. Moreover the percentage of population steadily rising of both nations with gap of 20%. Finally the percentage of population of thailand and indonesia stable at 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four countries and the time frame provided. However, the analysis is significantly inaccurate regarding the data trends. For instance, you state that Malaysia's population 'started to decline till 2010', which contradicts standard interpretations of urban growth graphs, and the description of the trends for Thailand and Indonesia lacks precision. While you identify the main features, the misinterpretation of the data points prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully track the lines across the years and describe the actual trajectory (e.g., steady increase vs. sharp rise) rather than inventing trends that do not align with the visual evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a Task 1 response. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'Finally' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'On the remaining data', which does not effectively transition from the previous paragraph. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed because the data points mentioned do not always follow a clear chronological or thematic order. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You use basic terms like 'growth', 'decline', and 'rising'. While these are accurate in context, there is a lack of more sophisticated or varied vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'surpassed'. There are also minor errors in word choice and phrasing, such as 'depicts the detail about percentage of people growth' and 'calibration of data'. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and nouns related to statistical trends will help you achieve a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. Examples include missing articles ('in 1970 Philippines and Malaysia'), incorrect preposition usage ('growth of Philippines population is continued'), and awkward phrasing ('percentage of population steadily rising of both nations'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit your score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.
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