Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

This is the graph was percentage of the population living in cities. The information about 4 country in the population count started to 1970 to 2020.

This graph was showing us to in 10 year population are increased . In 1970 population are low in all of the country but in lowest population showing us to in Indonesia is 15% but suddenly After 2000 Malaysia population are fast increased .

In this graph we can see the Thailand and Malaysia population in 1970 are one or two percent difference same as well Philippines or Malaysia. A Indonesia is suddenly increased population in 2010,thailad is gain population after 2000 and Malaysia is increased the population after 1990.

But, The Thailand was 1970 to 1990 increased their population is 15% and 2000 to 2020 decrease their population is 19% and then after 2020 their was increased the population and the population was 40%.

so, This the details of graph .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear overview or accurately report the main trends. The description of the data is often confusing and inaccurate, such as the claim that Thailand's population decreased between 2000 and 2020, which contradicts the provided graph. Key features, such as the overall upward trend for all countries and the specific rankings, are not clearly highlighted. The response lacks a logical summary of the data, and the information provided is frequently disjointed or factually incorrect based on the visual evidence. To improve, focus on identifying the starting and ending points and the most significant changes over the period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the internal structure is weak. There is no clear logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'in this graph' and 'the population'. The transition between sentences is often abrupt, making the text difficult to follow. The lack of clear referencing (e.g., 'this' or 'that' without clear antecedents) further hinders the flow. To improve, use a wider range of linking words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in contrast' to connect ideas more effectively and ensure each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on basic words like 'population', 'increased', and 'graph'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'gain population' instead of 'experienced growth' or 'population are low' instead of 'the percentage was low'. The lack of variety makes the writing monotonous and imprecise. To improve, learn to use synonyms and more academic collocations related to data description, such as 'upward trend', 'significant growth', or 'fluctuated', and ensure correct word forms are used in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'population are increased'), article usage (e.g., 'in 10 year'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'This is the graph was percentage'). The attempt at complex sentences is largely unsuccessful, resulting in fragmented or run-on sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically the use of articles, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement. Practicing simple, error-free sentences before attempting complex structures will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

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