Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph given illustrates about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from the year 1970 to 2020, with predictions for the upcoming years 2030 and 2040.
Overall, the population on of Malaysia has been dominating the graph with the highest percentage and without any decline in the graph . While Philippines have some fluctuations in the graph that shows the increase and decrease in the population.
Firstly, The highest population percentage is predicted to be in the year 2040 with over 80% in Malaysia. However, Philipines had the highest percentage of population with 32% in the year 1970, but is predicted to have only 48% in the year 2040.
In addition, the country with the lowest percentage of population in the year 1970 is Indonesia with only 15% . But, the percentage had rose and might be the second highest with over 50% in the year 2040.
In conclusion, Thailand was the second least percentage in the year 1970 with only 18% and will have a rise to 40% in the year 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the start and end points for all four countries. However, the overview is somewhat weak; it mentions Malaysia's dominance but fails to capture the overall upward trend across all countries, which is a key feature. The description of the data is generally accurate, but the analysis is slightly disjointed. For instance, the comparison between the Philippines and Malaysia in the third paragraph is a bit confusingly phrased. To improve, ensure the overview highlights the most significant trends (e.g., all countries show growth) rather than just focusing on individual country performance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'In addition' and 'In conclusion' are used, but the internal flow between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of Indonesia and Thailand is abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'the graph' repeatedly, which could be replaced with more varied cohesive references to improve the flow of the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the population on of Malaysia has been dominating' and 'the percentage had rose'. The word 'dominating' is slightly misused in this context; 'leading' or 'having the highest proportion' would be more natural. The range of vocabulary is limited to basic descriptive terms. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'significant growth', or 'fluctuated marginally'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'The graph given illustrates about' (unnecessary preposition), 'Philippines have some fluctuations' (subject-verb agreement), and 'the percentage had rose' (incorrect verb form). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb tense usage will significantly improve your accuracy.
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