Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph represents the population in percentage living in four different countries Malaysia, Indonesia, Philippines and Thailand from the year 1970 to 2020 and prediction upto 2040. Overall observation shows that population in Malaysia and Indonesia is greater as compared to Philippines and Thailand. In case of Malaysia, the population gradually incrase from 30% to 43% from 1930 to 1990. In the next three decades it sharply increase and was recorded at 75% in 2020. Afterwards, the prediction shows 85% population in 2040 without any stop in its rise. While Indonesia gradually increase in population in the first decade by only 1% from 12 to 13%.In the next two decades it rapidly rised and was recorded at 28% in the year 2000 then there was no fluctuations and it jumped to 50% in 2020. Predictions shows that its population will only rise in the future and can be increases to 60 percent. . On the first hand in Phillipines the population was 31% in 1970 and remained the same in the first decade while in the next decade it progressed and was recorded 48% in 1990. Afterwards it decrease in the next two decades. It then again gradually increases to 45% in 2020. In the future, it shows sighns of rising without any fluctuations upto 55% in 2040. On the other hand in 1970 the population was 18% in Thailand and quickly increased to 30% in the next two decades. Then it stablized for the next three decades. Population can sharply increases fron 2020 to 2040 about 15%.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided data points for all four countries. However, the response lacks a clear overview that synthesizes the overall trends effectively. While you mention that Malaysia and Indonesia are higher, this is not entirely accurate based on the graph, as the Philippines and Thailand also show significant growth. Furthermore, there are several inaccuracies in your data reporting; for instance, you mention Malaysia's population starting in 1930, but the graph clearly begins in 1970. Additionally, some of your descriptions of the trends, such as the fluctuations in the Philippines, are not fully supported by the visual data provided. To improve, ensure you carefully verify the years and percentages against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward transitions and repetitive sentence structures. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'On the first hand' and 'On the other hand,' which are not appropriate for this type of report. The paragraphing is also inconsistent, with some sections feeling cluttered. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear, distinct group of data or a specific comparison to help the reader follow your analysis more easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'incrase' (spelling), 'rised' (incorrect verb form), and 'sighns' (spelling). You rely on basic verbs like 'increase' and 'jumped' repeatedly. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a steady climb.' Additionally, ensure you proofread for basic spelling errors, as these distract from the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Predictions shows,' 'population can sharply increases'), incorrect tense usage (e.g., 'it decrease'), and missing articles. These errors are noticeable and occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing past trends versus future predictions. Practicing the difference between active and passive voice would also help you describe the data more professionally.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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