Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph below illustrates the details about the proportion of the population in (Phillipines, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia)living in cities from to 1970 to 2020,with prediction for 2030 and 2040.
Overall,Malaysia shows highest population from the start, while Thailand remain least population today and in future. Indonesia shows dramatic increase in overall population.
On the one hand, Malaysia was the highest population started with 30% ,and will be increased by around 90% in 2040. However ,Philippines shows fluctuations start with 30% in 1970 ,rose at 50 in 1990 and drops gradually and slightly increased by around 60% in 2040.
On the other hand , Indonesia was the lowest population at the starting with only 15%, the graph prediction shows the highest increased in 2040 by 60 %.Thailand population was around 19% in 1970 , will sharply rose by around 50% in 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends and included data points for the countries, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have attempted to cover all countries, but the description of the trends is occasionally inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that Malaysia will increase by 90% or the description of the Philippines' fluctuations. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview that highlights the most significant trends and support these with accurate data points. The under-length nature of the response means that the information is not fully developed, which prevents a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally misused, such as the transition 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', which are better suited for argumentative essays rather than describing graph data. The progression of ideas is sometimes difficult to follow due to the lack of clear linking words between sentences. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', or 'subsequently' to link your observations more fluidly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus to improve the overall logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There is a reliance on basic verbs like 'shows', 'increased', and 'rose'. Some phrasing is unnatural, such as 'Thailand remain least population' and 'highest increased'. You should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'experienced a significant growth', 'remained the lowest', or 'a gradual decline'. Additionally, there are some issues with word choice and collocation that occasionally hinder the clarity of your descriptions. Expanding your range of descriptive adjectives and adverbs will help you convey the data more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in 1970'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'will sharply rose'), and punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and incorrect capitalization. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of tense when predicting future data. Proofreading your work for basic punctuation and article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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