Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph presenting the percentages of people of four Asian continents stating in the urban areas between 1970 to 2020 and also showing the prediction of population for next 20 years.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that,all Contentes shows progress in population where Malaysia stayed higher in almost every year included predicted once, while, Indonesia showed quite rise without falling once by years forwarding. Moreover, Thailand and Philippines illustrated fluctuations with all given years.
Apparently, Philippines was the one having highest population about 32% in 1970, yet with the highlighted point in 1990 with around 50% people , it declined about 10% in next 20 year and it is predicted to gain about same target as it was at beginning. While, Malasia was the second populated nation 30% in the initial year and it inclined over years without falling once and reached 75% population in 2020 and also assumed to rise further 85% in next 20 years.
On the opposite, Indonesia and Thailand both remained lower yet showed increased number of populations as other given nations. Thailand had 18% population in 1970 which was raised to 30% in 2020 and predicted to have more 20% in last predated year. Whereas, Indonesia, was the one with smaller population in beginning with only 13% which later progressed to 50% in 2020 without seeing fall and reached second most populated country and also thought to further rise abou
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four countries and the time frame provided. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state the Philippines had 32% in 1970 and 50% in 1990, which does not align with the provided graph. Furthermore, the description of trends is sometimes confusing, such as the claim that Thailand and the Philippines illustrated fluctuations, which is not clearly supported by the data. The conclusion is also incomplete, as the text cuts off mid-sentence. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your figures with the graph and provide a more accurate summary of the main trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'on the opposite' are used incorrectly to introduce a new point, and the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which country is being discussed. The abrupt ending of the essay also negatively impacts the overall coherence. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'population' and 'rise' without much variation. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'Asian continents' (referring to countries) and 'predated year' (likely meaning 'predicted year'). Some phrases are awkward, such as 'without falling once by years forwarding'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'upward trend', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stable', and ensure your word choices are contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage ('the Philippines', 'the Malaysia'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For instance, 'all Contentes shows progress' should be 'all countries show progress'. Additionally, there are many awkward phrasings and incomplete sentences, such as the final sentence which ends abruptly. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often inaccurate. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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