Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The concentration of people living in urban areas in four Asian countries is illustrated to be fluctuated from 1930 to 2020, being forecast to further vary by 2040.

A drastic increase from 30% to 70% in urban population was observed for Malaysia from 1980 to 2020, with being almost constant from 1970 to 1980 and expected to reach an all time high of about 80% by 2040.

Starting at around 32% , the urban Philippines population remained almost constant till 2020 with expectations of reaching 50% by 2040.

Indonesia saw a great rise from 12% to 50%, expectedly reaching 55% by 2040.

Overall, all the countries have seen transfer of rural population to urban, shifting demography of country and highlighting the need of improve

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly with 'need of improve'. While you have identified some main features, such as the growth in Malaysia and Indonesia, the overview is underdeveloped and lacks a comprehensive summary of the trends. The data reporting is generally accurate, but the failure to complete the task and the insufficient length prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure you provide a clear, distinct overview paragraph and fully develop your analysis of all four countries, ensuring the response reaches the required length.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into short paragraphs, which is a good start. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the final sentence. Cohesive devices are used sparingly; for example, 'Starting at' and 'Overall' help to link ideas, but the flow is somewhat mechanical. The lack of a concluding sentence or a fully developed final paragraph makes the overall structure feel disjointed. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') to connect your sentences and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, complete logical structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'urban population', 'fluctuated', and 'demography' used correctly. However, there is a lack of variety and some awkward phrasing, such as 'illustrated to be fluctuated' and 'expectedly reaching'. The range is limited, and the vocabulary does not demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more precise reporting verbs and adjectives to describe trends, such as 'experienced a significant surge' instead of 'saw a great rise', and ensure your word choices are natural and contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable errors. For instance, 'with being almost constant' is grammatically incorrect, and the opening sentence 'is illustrated to be fluctuated' is awkward. There are also issues with punctuation and sentence completion. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. To improve, focus on mastering the use of participial phrases and ensure that your sentence structures are grammatically sound. Proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and preposition usage will also help increase your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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