Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph represent data about the ratio of population in cities of four Asian counteries with prediction. The population of Malaysia is higher than overall and the number of population in Thailand is lower than each.
Overall, the population of Malaysia is increased in 2040 about 80 percent and in 2040 the Indonesia in on 60 ratio of residents. Moreover, the citizen of Philippines have a fluctuated range of increasement in futuer by 50 percent as well as the puplace of Indonesia is 40 degree in the coming decades. But, the main difference is between the year gap which demonstrate the grow up of population by the year in the future.
To conclude this, the graph illustrate the level from low to top and their increasement in population by their ratio about various cities of Asia. Furthermore, the prediction is on the top about Malaysia rather than other cities of this country
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to adequately report the main features of the graph. While it mentions the four countries, the data provided is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, stating that Indonesia is at a '40 degree' level or that Malaysia will reach 80 percent in 2040 lacks precision and misinterprets the visual data. The overview is weak and does not clearly highlight the overall trends, such as the consistent upward trajectory of urbanization across all countries. The response struggles to make meaningful comparisons, instead listing isolated and unclear figures. To improve, focus on identifying the starting and ending points and describing the general trend rather than attempting to list every data point.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is severely hampered by unclear sentence structures and confusing referencing. The use of cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore' is mechanical and does not effectively link ideas. The transition between the introduction, body, and conclusion is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the development of the information. The conclusion is particularly problematic as it introduces new, vague observations rather than summarizing the main trends. Improved paragraphing and the use of clearer signposting language would help the reader navigate the information more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and often misused, which significantly impacts clarity. Words like 'counteries', 'increasement', 'futuer', and 'puplace' are either misspelled or non-standard. The use of 'ratio' to describe population percentages is inaccurate, and '40 degree' is an inappropriate collocation for this context. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express the trends in the graph with precision. To improve, you should focus on learning standard terminology for describing graphs, such as 'proportion', 'urbanization', 'upward trend', and 'projected to reach'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The graph represent', 'citizen... have'), article usage, and sentence construction. Many sentences are fragmented or lack a clear grammatical structure, such as 'the number of population in Thailand is lower than each'. The attempt at complex sentences is largely unsuccessful, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for common errors in tense and word order.
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