Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the proportion of four Asian countries population living

in cities over the period from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, all cities population increased substantially over the period, while the Malaysia and Indonesia recorded the the most significant growth. Thailand and Philippines experienced fluctuations until the mid of the period before becoming stable.

Population in Malaysia stood at approximately 30% in 1970 and then rose to around 40% of the total in 1980. After that, the figure shaply rose to around

70% in 2020 and hit the highest point of nearly 80% by 2040. Similarly, the proportion of the population in indonesia grew from roughly 5% in 1970 to just under 30% in 2000. It then rose to approximately 50% in 2020 and peaked at around 60% by the end of the period.

In contrast, Thailand figure increased steadily from roughly 20% in 1970 to approximately 30% in 1990, before reaching around 35% in 2020 and 50% in 2040. A similar pattern was observed in Philippines , where percentage grew from roughly 30% in 1970 to just under 50% in 1990. After that, the figure declined to around 40% in 2000 before reaching a peak of just under 60%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four countries and the time period effectively. You have identified the main trends, such as the overall upward trajectory and the significant growth in Malaysia and Indonesia. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you mention that Thailand and the Philippines experienced fluctuations, but the data shows a relatively steady increase for Thailand and a specific decline for the Philippines between 1990 and 2000, which is not a general fluctuation. To improve, ensure your overview captures the most striking differences between the countries rather than describing them as a group, as their patterns are quite distinct.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'Similarly', 'In contrast', and 'After that' to link ideas. However, the progression within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the description of Malaysia and Indonesia is a bit abrupt. Additionally, there are some minor issues with referencing and punctuation, such as the extra space before the comma in 'Philippines ,'. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'proportion', 'substantially', 'fluctuations', and 'peaked'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the the' (repetition) and 'Thailand figure' (should be 'Thailand's figure'). You also use 'shaply' (spelling error for 'sharply'). While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, incorporating more precise academic collocations would elevate your score. Focus on ensuring accurate spelling and avoiding repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the Philippines' is required, not just 'Philippines') and issues with subject-verb agreement or possessives (e.g., 'Thailand figure'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'all cities population increased', which should be 'the urban population of all countries'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focus on proofreading for articles and possessive forms.

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