Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line diagram illustrates how the percentage of population living in the four Asian countries changed over a span of 5 decades. Alongside, it also contains data with predictions for the next 2 decades
Overall, it is clearly observed that Malaysia's population has an exponential rise, whereas Philippines and Indonesia's population has marginal rise; however, Thailand's population is the one with most dwindling numbers.
A detailed analysis of this data reveals that, the populace of people in these countries has gradually increased over 50 years. Additionally, from the prediction made it obviously stated to increase in the next 20 years. Considering the particulars, Malaysia had no overall decrease in residents and measures the highest growth in its citizens to reach around 80% of total population in the future. Turning to the place that demonstrates the least residents, Thailand had greater number of percent than Indonesia in 1970, but now stood least in residents. According to the figure, Philippines show fluctuation in the population as it also experiences gradual incline and decline.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends for all four countries. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, describing Thailand's trend as having 'most dwindling numbers' is inaccurate, as the graph shows an increase, albeit at a slower rate than others. The description of the Philippines as showing 'fluctuation' is also not supported by the steady upward trend visible in the data. While the overview is present, it lacks precision in interpreting the specific data points, which prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that descriptions of trends (e.g., 'increase', 'decline', 'fluctuation') strictly match the visual evidence provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Additionally', and 'Turning to'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'Alongside, it also contains data with predictions...' feels disconnected from the previous sentence. Furthermore, the use of referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'the populace of people in these countries', which is redundant. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the cohesion could be smoother and less repetitive to achieve a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'populace of people' (redundant), 'measures the highest growth' (incorrect collocation), and 'stood least in residents' (unnatural phrasing). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precise terminology for describing trends (e.g., 'upward trajectory' or 'steady growth') limits the score. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and avoiding repetitive or imprecise phrasing when describing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'it obviously stated to increase' (incorrect passive voice/tense), 'Philippines show fluctuation' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'greater number of percent' (incorrect usage). While the meaning is usually understandable, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb tense usage would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
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