Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates detail about proportion of asian countries's growth rate between 1970 and 2020, and also predicted for future from 2030 to 2040. Overall, it is clear that all four countries have been increasing throughout the period, which highest share by Malaysia and lowest for Thailand.
In 1970, Philippines had growth rate at highest than others stood slightly above from 30% of total population. Later it increased with nearly around 20% to reached half century in just two decades. In 2010, by minimal down fall it will expected to reach out almost at 60% in 2040. Malaysia accounted for second largest country in asia for population. Which it 30% share in 1970 and than its rate gradually increased expectedly up to 80% in population in 2040
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement. Furthermore, the content is incomplete; you only describe two of the four countries (Philippines and Malaysia), failing to address the data for the other two. The overview is also quite limited, and the data reporting lacks precision, with some figures being misread or vaguely stated. To improve, ensure you cover all data points provided in the graph and provide a more comprehensive summary of the main trends and comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into two paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by the lack of information. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes incorrect, such as 'Which it 30% share in 1970 and than its rate'. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the countries. You need to use a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus to improve the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'detail about proportion' instead of 'information regarding the proportion' and 'minimal down fall' instead of 'slight decline'. The phrasing is often awkward, which impedes the clarity of your report. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and avoid informal or grammatically incorrect structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally make the meaning difficult to grasp. Examples include 'Philippines had growth rate at highest than others' (should be 'had the highest growth rate') and 'Which it 30% share'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the control over basic grammar, such as articles and prepositions, is inconsistent. You should practice constructing error-free sentences and work on using a variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses or passive voice, to describe the data more effectively.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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