Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The Line graph illustrates about the proportion of the citizens in four Asian nations residing in cities from 1970 till 2020, while estimating for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, Malaysia's strength has grown with fastest rate even after being second in year 1970. Thailand's population declined and will have the lowest population by 2040. Indonesia rise has been exponential.
Firstly, Malaysia percentage proportion was a little less, at 30% and was in constant competition with Philippines in terms of rise and took over in 1980, at around 40% but In 1990, Philippines took over again at close about 46% to 48% and at last, Malaysia rose exponentially to around 75% and will reach close to 80% by 2040. Philippines took a turn around in 2010, when population was approximately at 43% to 44% , then stayed almost constant in 2020 but will end at around 55% by 2040.
However, Thailand and Indonesia were grown at a steady pace starting about 18% and 13% respectively. In 2000, They had exact same population strength, at 28%. Then, Indonesia grow at a different pace and reached at second position by 2020, at about 50% while Thailand's population stayed steady around 30%, but as per prediction, it will reach close to 45% in 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four countries and included the required time periods, including the projections for 2030 and 2040. However, the analysis is somewhat descriptive rather than analytical. For instance, you list specific percentages in a way that feels like a data dump rather than a synthesis of trends. To improve, focus more on grouping the countries by their growth patterns (e.g., those with rapid growth versus those with more stable, slower growth) rather than detailing every fluctuation year-by-year, which can lead to minor inaccuracies in data interpretation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'However', and 'Overall' to guide the reader. However, the flow within paragraphs is occasionally mechanical. Some sentences are linked awkwardly, such as 'Indonesia rise has been exponential', which lacks a proper transition from the previous sentence. Additionally, the use of referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing the 'competition' between Malaysia and the Philippines. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, using terms like 'exponential', 'steady pace', and 'proportion'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors. For example, you use 'strength' to refer to population percentages, which is not accurate in this context. You also use 'illustrates about', which is grammatically redundant. There are also minor errors in word formation, such as 'Indonesia rise' instead of 'Indonesia's rise'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that your word choices are contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in year 1970'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'Indonesia grow at a different pace'), and punctuation errors. Some sentences are also slightly awkward, such as 'Malaysia's strength has grown with fastest rate'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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