Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Smallest percentage of the people living in cities was recorded in 1970 in indonesia. As compared to this highest percentage for this year was recorded in Phillippines then comes the Malaysia and Thailand. The percentage was approximately twice as high as of 1970 in 1990 for that of Indonesia. The percentage gradually increased till 2020 as it reached 60 percent starting from 10 percent in year 1970. The sharp increase was recorded in 2000 for indonesia. Now its population is expected to increase upto 60 percent till 2040 which is on second place after malaysia among these countries. Thailand population growth was seen not as high as indonesia from 1990 to 2020 but is expected to rise at a high level from 2020 to 2040.
Population growth in philphines recorded a sharp rise in graph from 1980 to 1990 after remaining almost unchanged for 1970 to 1980. Then it recovered a visible decrease till 2010 nearly equal to the year 1980 percentage. But is now gradually increasing and being expected to exceed the 1990 percentage by year 2040. Malaysia remained almost closer to philpines till 1990 but from then its graph is being risen sharply and is expected to reach 80 percent by 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four countries and the time frame provided. However, the overview is missing, which is a critical requirement for Task 1. The reporting of data is sometimes imprecise, such as stating 'Indonesia's population' instead of 'the percentage of the population living in cities'. While key features like the 2040 projections are mentioned, the lack of a clear summary of trends makes it difficult to follow the overall picture. To improve, ensure you include an introductory sentence that paraphrases the prompt and a clear overview paragraph that highlights the most significant trends, such as the general upward trajectory across all nations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between discussing Indonesia and the Philippines is abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical (e.g., 'As compared to this', 'Then comes'). Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when referring to 'that of Indonesia' or 'the year 1980 percentage'. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus, such as grouping countries by similar trends rather than listing them individually.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There is frequent repetition of basic verbs like 'recorded', 'increased', and 'expected'. Some word choices are awkward, such as 'recovered a visible decrease' or 'graph is being risen'. There are also consistent spelling errors, such as 'Phillippines' and 'philphines'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated synonyms for 'increase' (e.g., 'climb', 'surge', 'soar') and ensure accurate spelling of proper nouns and technical terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors with articles (e.g., 'in year 1970'), prepositions (e.g., 'upto 60 percent till 2040'), and verb tenses (e.g., 'graph is being risen'). Punctuation is also problematic, with several run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors hinder the flow of the text. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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