Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph illustrate that the percentage of population in some asian countries and drop a prediction for next year’s and describe the main function,comparison's.

Initially, At 1970 the population of Indonesia riseing rapedly from 10% to 20% after a decade and rising years by years by 10% and finish with 50%. However Thailand not steping back start was not rally well by 20% and keep growing 8% after decade by decade and finally success to secure his place on 60%.Moreever Philippines make a very good start with 30% but waste all hopes and decreases after 1990 by 44%.Well Malaysia got first with a start of 30% and increased by 60% in just 40 years after 80years ended up with 88% and successfully grab people hopes. All theses pridictions show that the asian countries making a good progress in population.

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AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to summarize the graph but fails to provide a clear overview of the main trends. While it mentions the four countries, the data points provided are often inaccurate or confusingly presented (e.g., 'decreases after 1990 by 44%'). The response lacks a clear distinction between historical data and future predictions, and the summary of the main features is underdeveloped. The tone is informal and lacks the objective, analytical style required for an Academic Task 1 report. To improve, focus on identifying the overall trends (e.g., which country grew the fastest) rather than listing every data point, and ensure the data cited matches the graph accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The response is organized into two short paragraphs, but the logical flow is weak. Cohesive devices are used incorrectly or in a mechanical, repetitive way, such as 'Initially' and 'However', which do not accurately reflect the relationships between the data points. The transition between sentences is often abrupt, making the text difficult to follow. Paragraphing is present but does not effectively separate the introduction from the body of the report. To improve, use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', 'Subsequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate for an academic report. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'riseing rapedly', 'steping back', and 'grab people hopes'. The use of informal language like 'waste all hopes' is unsuitable for this task. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. To improve, focus on learning specific collocations for describing trends, such as 'a steady increase', 'a sharp decline', or 'remained stable', and avoid using emotive or informal language when describing statistical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with verb tenses (e.g., 'This graph illustrate'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack necessary articles and prepositions. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring consistent use of past tense for historical data and future forms for predictions. Proofreading for basic errors like subject-verb agreement will also significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

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