Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The given flow chart illustrates the proportion of citizens living in four Asian countries from 1970 to 2020, along with prediction for 2030 and 2040.
In this graph, the diagram exhibits details of fascinating in population in different countries like Philippines ,Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia along with percentage from the 1970 to 2020 tenure. However, 2040 prediction for fascinating in population is far high.
To commence with, the percentage of individuals in Malaysia since 1970 is around 30%. However, its prediction for the 2040 is extremely incline when in Thailand it is less than 50%. Nevertheless, after Malaysia Indonesia should be second population increasing country in these Asian countries since 2040. Likely, in cities the reason behind fascinating population is the huge quantity of migrating people from rural areas for obtaining high education and financially secure the future. To conclude, the major reason for prediction for fascinating population in Malaysia is this.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to adequately summarize the main features of the graph. While it mentions the four countries, it does not provide a clear overview of the trends or make meaningful comparisons between the data points. The inclusion of personal opinions regarding the reasons for migration ('the reason behind fascinating population is the huge quantity of migrating people') is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report, which requires an objective description of the data. Furthermore, the data points mentioned are inaccurate or vague, such as stating Malaysia is 'around 30%' in 1970 without referencing the provided graph accurately. The response lacks a clear summary of the key trends over the 1970–2040 period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay lacks a logical structure. While there are paragraph breaks, the progression of ideas is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'To commence with' followed by a confusing sentence structure. The referencing is unclear, particularly when discussing the countries, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison. The conclusion does not summarize the main features but instead attempts to provide an explanation for the data, which is not the purpose of this task. The overall organization is weak, and the flow of information is frequently interrupted by confusing phrasing.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is limited and frequently misused. The word 'fascinating' is used repeatedly in an incorrect context, seemingly as a substitute for 'increasing' or 'urbanization'. Other phrases like 'extremely incline' are grammatically incorrect and demonstrate a lack of control over word choice. There is no attempt to use a range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuate', 'plateau', 'significant growth'). The repetition of basic terms and the misuse of collocations significantly impede the clarity of the report, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning of the data description.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure meaning. There are issues with sentence structure, such as 'its prediction for the 2040 is extremely incline when in Thailand it is less than 50%'. Subject-verb agreement and word order are consistently problematic. The use of complex structures is attempted but results in errors, such as 'after Malaysia Indonesia should be second population increasing country'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly regarding spacing around commas. The range of structures is very limited, and the high frequency of errors makes the text difficult to read.
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