Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The bar graph illustrates the information about the percentage of the inhabitants in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
To Begin with, In the Philippines the population living was 30% in 1970. From 1970 to 1990 percentage were fluctuated, and then rose steadily to around 70% by 2020. In Malaysia people lived in cities around 30% by 1970, but 1970 to 2000 percentage increased about 60% and approximately 75% in 2020. Indonesia showed gradual growth in 1970 upward, reaching around 30% in 2000, but then increased sharply to about 55% in 2020.
In Thailand, people lived in cities around 20%, and gradually reached at land 25% in 1990 from 1990 to 2020 the percentage remained changed. It is a 2020 Percentage were forecast to reach roughly 40% in 2040. Meanwhile, Indonesia and the philippines are expected to rise, reaching around 55% apploximately in 2010. Malaysia is predicted to remain the most, at approximately 85%.
Overall, Malaysia had the highest percentage for most of the Period, while Indonesia experienced the fastest growth after 2000 and is predicted to continue rising. Thailand remained the least urbanised country until around 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four countries and the time frame provided. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For example, you state that Malaysia increased by 'about 60%' from 1970 to 2000, which is mathematically incorrect based on the graph. Additionally, the description of Thailand's trends is confusing, particularly the phrase 'remained changed'. While you identify the main features, such as Malaysia having the highest percentage and Indonesia's growth, the lack of precision in reporting the figures prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that the data points cited accurately reflect the graph and avoid vague descriptions of trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'To Begin with' are slightly unnatural in this context, and the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the paragraph regarding Thailand, where the timeline and the data points become muddled. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'subsequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus that flows smoothly into the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'urbanised', 'forecast', and 'steadily'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'reached at land 25%' and 'remained the most'. Some of these errors, combined with spelling mistakes like 'apploximately', slightly hinder the flow of the text. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is used in the correct grammatical context. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and prepositions (e.g., 'percentage were fluctuated', 'reached at land 25%', 'remained changed'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally cause confusion, although they do not completely impede communication. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice when describing data. Proofreading for basic tense consistency—especially when moving between past data and future predictions—is essential for achieving a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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