Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries in which has Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

first of all, mention that there was a bigger flactuation from 1970 to 2040 which is 12 perentage to 80 percentage predicted.

Secondly disuss about the countries which is mention that in statement. Philippines which is denoted by square doted line. This line starts from 30 percent in 1970 and prediction is 50 percent in 2040.

Onthe other hand, Malaysia which is denoted by a diamond dote line. This country population in 1970 is 30 percent and in prediction this population inrease round about in 2040 is 80 percentage which is a huge amount of population.

In conclusion, all four countries increases the population day by day.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to adequately address the task requirements. While it mentions the four countries, it does not provide a clear overview or a summary of the main trends. The description of the data is fragmented and lacks a logical selection of key features. For instance, the mention of a 'bigger fluctuation' is vague and inaccurate, as the graph shows steady growth rather than fluctuation. Furthermore, the response ignores two of the four countries entirely (Thailand and Indonesia) and fails to make meaningful comparisons between the countries over the time period provided. The information is presented in a disjointed manner, making it difficult to follow the overall trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks a clear structure. The introduction merely repeats the prompt instructions rather than paraphrasing the topic. The body paragraphs are poorly organized, and the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often misused, such as 'first of all' and 'secondly' to list points that are not logically connected. There is no clear progression of ideas; the transition between the general trend and specific country data is abrupt. Paragraphing is present but does not serve to organize the information effectively, as the content within the paragraphs is repetitive and lacks focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, which restricts the ability to describe the data accurately. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'flactuation' (fluctuation), 'perentage' (percentage), 'disuss' (discuss), and 'inrease' (increase). The student relies on basic phrasing like 'huge amount of population' and 'day by day', which are not appropriate for an academic report. There is little evidence of an attempt to use precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'upward trend', 'gradual growth', or 'projected figures'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with sentence structure, such as 'in which has Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia living in cities', which is syntactically incorrect. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, for example, 'all four countries increases'. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing articles and incorrect use of commas. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple, error-prone sentences. The lack of control over basic grammar makes the writing difficult to read and understand.

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