Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph depicts the information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries between 1970 and 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, it is clear that the population of Malaysia is significantly growing throughout the period. In contrast the Philippines population is fluctuating till 2040. However, Indonesia's population is increasing slightly.
In 1970, the population of Malaysia was only 30% and it remained till 1980. After that, it is significantly grow and will reach at 80% at the end of 2040. Indonesia had 15 % population in 1970, this grow slowly and will reach to 45% of population till 2040.
Thailand's population in 1970 was about 19% , it fluctuate throughout the period and it will reach to 45% of population till 2040. In the Philippines, numbers of citizens was 32% in 1970. However, they will face the minor increase which accounts for 55% at the end of 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four countries and the time period, including the projections. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The overview is inaccurate; for instance, stating that the Philippines' population is 'fluctuating' is not supported by the data, which shows a general upward trend. Furthermore, the description of the data is occasionally imprecise, such as claiming Malaysia's population 'remained' between 1970 and 1980 when the graph shows a slight increase. To reach a higher band, you should focus on identifying key trends (e.g., Malaysia's rapid growth vs. the slower growth of others) and ensuring that the data points cited are accurate and clearly compared.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally misused. For example, the transition 'However' in the second paragraph is used to contrast Indonesia's growth with the Philippines, but the logic is not clearly established. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'they will face the minor increase' in the final paragraph, where 'they' refers to the population of the Philippines. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear pronoun reference would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic verbs like 'grow' and 'reach' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'numbers of citizens was 32%' instead of 'the percentage of the urban population was 32%'. The phrase 'significantly grow' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'grew significantly'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'surged', 'gradual increase', or 'plateaued', and ensure you are using the correct terminology for statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder readability. Common issues include tense inconsistencies (e.g., 'it is significantly grow' instead of 'it grew significantly') and preposition errors (e.g., 'reach at 80%' instead of 'reach 80%'). Subject-verb agreement is also problematic, such as 'Thailand's population... it fluctuate' instead of 'it fluctuated'. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on consistent verb tenses and correct sentence construction is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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