Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph depicts the information about four Asian nations along with their percentage of citizens residing in cities since 1970 to 2020, with assumption for 20230 and 2040.
Overall, it is vivid that, the graph describes data about percentage of populace living in urban area in four Asian nations from 1970 along with prediction for 2040. Ratio of people living in urban area had gone under dramatic changes until 2020, whereas, in future in it is likely to grow continuously.
On the one hand, in first 40 years from 1970 to 2000, Philippines and Malaysia had number of people living in cities almost equal to each other about 30 percent in 1970 and had changed only a little until 1990, while, Thailand and Indonesia had a little less population living in urban area than other nations their ratio had inclined together until 2000, where Indonesia's ratio inclined suddenly.
On the other hand, after 2000's Malaysia and Indonesia's rate of individuals living in cities had increased magnificently and it is assumed that it will be at 80 and 60 respectively, whereas, Thailand urban population had decreased in 200 until 2010 and again rose after 2010 and it is likely to be at 50 by 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is inconsistent. While you identify trends for the four countries, the description of the data is often imprecise. For example, you mention 'Philippines and Malaysia had number of people living in cities almost equal to each other about 30 percent in 1970', but the graph shows distinct starting points. Furthermore, the claim that Thailand's urban population 'decreased in 200 until 2010' is factually incorrect based on the provided data. The overview is present but lacks clarity regarding the overall trends. To improve, ensure you accurately extract data points and focus on the most significant changes rather than listing every minor fluctuation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but they do not effectively contrast the information in the way they are applied here. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, such as 'Thailand and Indonesia had a little less population living in urban area than other nations their ratio had inclined together'. The lack of proper punctuation and linking words makes the progression of ideas feel somewhat forced rather than natural.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'ratio of people living in urban area' and 'inclined'. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'assumption for 20230' (a typo) and 'magnificently', which is not the most appropriate collocation for describing statistical growth. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and occasional misuse of terms prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Using more specific academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'upward trajectory' or 'fluctuated', would enhance the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('in urban area' instead of 'in urban areas'), incorrect verb tenses ('had gone under dramatic changes'), and awkward phrasing ('it is vivid that, the graph describes'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors indicates a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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