Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph presents the data related to the proportion of the population living in cities from the year 1970 to 2020, along with the predicted percentages for 2030 and 2040 in countries like Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia.

Overall, the number of individuals are in increasing trend in all countries. Among all of them Malaysia is at higher rate of growth.

Initially, Philippines started at around 30%, which were higher than others in 1970. It stayed relatively stable with marginal increase but after 1980 it jumped near to 50%. After that, it decreased constantly and reached to approximately at 40% in 2010, afterwards increased slightly greater than 40%. Its prediction is saying it will increase more and stay at around 50% and 55% in 2030 and 2040 respectively. In 1970, Indonesia were at around 13% but its proportion increased substantially through the whole time with minor fluctuations and reached at 50% in 50%, now its growth is pointing at near to 59% and around 62% in 2030 and 2040 respectively.

Malaysia were at 30%, subsequently it increased at higher level and jumped at around 75% in 2020 which is above from all others countries. It predicted to jumped at 80% and around 83% in the upcoming years. While Thailand started at near to 20% but after that it increased to 30%. It still increased at slow rate and stayed relatively stable around at 30%. But it in 2030 and 2040 it will increase constantly at higher rate and will be at 40% and 50%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four countries and the time periods provided. You have successfully identified the main trends, such as Malaysia's significant growth and the general upward trajectory of all nations. However, the analysis is slightly hampered by inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you mention Indonesia reached 50% in 50%, which is unclear, and your description of the Philippines' trend is somewhat confusing, as the graph shows a more consistent upward trend than your text suggests. To improve, ensure that your data points are precise and that your overview clearly highlights the most significant differences between the countries, such as Malaysia being the highest throughout the period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'Initially', 'After that', and 'While', which provide a basic structure. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the paragraph about Indonesia where the sentence structure becomes repetitive. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data comparison.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, using terms like 'proportion', 'fluctuations', and 'substantially'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'number of individuals are in increasing trend' (should be 'the proportion of the population is on an upward trend') and 'jumped at around 75%'. These errors occasionally make the text feel less natural. To improve, focus on learning common collocations used in data description, such as 'a steady increase' or 'a significant rise', rather than relying on 'jumped' or 'increased at higher level'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. Subject-verb agreement is a recurring issue, for example, 'Malaysia were at 30%' and 'Indonesia were at around 13%'. Additionally, there are errors with prepositions and articles, such as 'reached to approximately at 40%' and 'at higher rate of growth'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and preposition usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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