Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrate the information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in the cities such as Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, The population of Malaysia initiated from 30% and fluctuated by each decades and have observed significant increased by 80% by the end of 2040. In contrast, where Philippines started from same point but after the slightly rise by the end of 1990 and then fall back in 2010 and then keep steady by the end of 2040, But not much progress have seen of population and reached nearly by 50%.
Where other side Thailand and Indonesia initiated their percentage of population from the lower side about 15% to 16% each, But after some years have observe a significant rise for both countries. Therefore, Indonesian population rises by 55% where Thailand population reached by 42% only.
In the Conclusion, Among all four asian countries Malaysia population growth top ranked by 80% approx. In contrast where thailand population remain the lowest that result at 42% population by the end 2040. remaining 2 countries having a moderate raised around 50% to 55%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four countries and the time frame provided. However, the analysis is somewhat inaccurate regarding the data. For example, you state Malaysia 'fluctuated by each decades' and reached 80% by 2040, but the graph shows a steady upward trend. Furthermore, the description of the Philippines' trend is confusing and does not accurately reflect the visual data. While you identify the main features, the lack of precision in reporting the figures and the misinterpretation of trends limit the score. To improve, ensure you carefully track the lines on the graph and use precise language to describe the movement (e.g., 'steady increase' vs 'fluctuation').
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Where other side' and 'In the Conclusion, Among all four' are not standard academic transitions. The flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison of trends. To improve, use more appropriate linking words such as 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'initiated from' instead of 'started at' or 'top ranked' instead of 'the highest'. Additionally, there are minor errors in word form, such as 'significant increased' instead of 'significant increase'. To improve, focus on using more precise reporting verbs and nouns related to data trends, and ensure you use the correct parts of speech.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The graph illustrate', 'population... have observed'), incorrect preposition usage ('reached by 50%'), and awkward sentence structures ('But not much progress have seen of population'). While there is an attempt at complex sentences, they are often marred by these errors. To improve, focus on basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading for these common errors will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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