Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given line graph illustrates about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, it is clear from all the perspective that the highest percentage of total population lived in cities in the year 1970 which was 32% was in Philippines. Secondly the lowest population was 13% which was in Indonesia. Further more the prediction says that the highest population will live in the cities by the year 2040 will be 85% in Malaysia. and the lowest will be in Thailand which will be 45%.

To begin with, the highest population recorded in the year 1970 was in Philippines which was 32%. Secondly it was in Malaysia which was 30%.

Thirdly Thailand use to have 19%.lastly in Indonesia it was 13%. Further more it is predicted that the population will increase by the year 2040 highest population will be 85% in Malaysia.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the task by identifying the main trends, but the coverage is inconsistent. While you mention the starting and ending points, the description of the data is fragmented and lacks a clear overview of the trends over the 70-year period. The data points provided are sometimes inaccurate or confusingly presented, such as the claim that the highest percentage in 1970 was 32% in the Philippines, which is not clearly supported by the visual data provided. To improve, ensure you group information logically (e.g., by country or by trend) rather than listing isolated figures, and provide a more comprehensive summary of the overall growth patterns across the entire timeframe.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'secondly' and 'further more'. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is weak, and the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks logical flow. For example, the second paragraph jumps between different countries without a clear thematic focus. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data analysis.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'highest', 'lowest', 'population', and 'percentage'. There is little attempt to use more sophisticated or varied language to describe trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'climb', 'plateau', or 'projected to reach'. Some phrasing is unnatural, such as 'it is clear from all the perspective'. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to data description and synonyms for common words to avoid repetition and demonstrate a more precise command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage ('the highest percentage of total population'), tense consistency ('Thailand use to have'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'The given line graph illustrates about...'). Many sentences are simple or contain run-on structures, such as '...was 32% was in Philippines'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, which limits your ability to express relationships between data points effectively. Focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and punctuation, and practice combining simple sentences into more complex, accurate structures.

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