Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries namely Philippines , Malaysia , Thailand and Indonesia from the period of 1970 to 2040.

Overall it is clear from the graph that at the starting of the period, Philippines and Malaysia occupied the equal percentage whereas Indonesia at lowest . In 2040 Malaysia attain the highest percentage follow by Indonesia , Philippines and Thailand .

Philippines and Malaysia attained the equal percentage of about 30% in 1970 . After that percentage of population in Philippines were moderately fluctuated and reach at peak at 50% in 1990 then fall and came back at the 50% in 2040 . On the other hand Malaysia steadily rise from 40% to 80 % in 2040 .

Secondly, Indonesia was at lowest in the initial stage of period at 15% . Then , in the first half they rise moderately and in others they boost and reach at 60% in 2040 . Thailand is at 19% in 197

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main trends and provides some comparisons, but it is incomplete. The final sentence is cut off mid-thought ('Thailand is at 19% in 197'), which prevents a full summary of the data. While the overview identifies the starting and ending positions, the lack of completion for the final country significantly impacts the task fulfillment. The data selection is generally relevant, but the analysis lacks the depth required for a higher band, as it focuses on listing figures rather than synthesizing the overall trends effectively across the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the transition 'Secondly' used to introduce the third paragraph. The progression of ideas is logical in the first half but breaks down at the end due to the incomplete sentence. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the data points more fluidly rather than just listing them.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision needed for higher bands. There is some repetition of basic verbs like 'attained', 'rise', and 'reach'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'at the starting of the period' instead of 'at the beginning of the period'. There are also minor errors in collocation and phrasing, such as 'moderately fluctuated' and 'in others they boost'. To improve, you should incorporate more varied synonyms for describing trends and ensure that collocations are used accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Philippines and Malaysia occupied the equal percentage', 'percentage of population... were moderately fluctuated') and missing articles ('at lowest'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly verb tenses and article usage, will help improve your clarity and overall control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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