Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bar graph illustrates information regarding to the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, Philippines had significant increasing trend all time. in addition, Malaysia had fractuation trend then 2000 it started dramaticaly decreasing. The Thailand mainly remain stable all the period. However, Indonesia had significantly trend all over period.
To begin with, Philippines initially in 1970 it around 30% of people living in cities over the time it increased and reached at almost 50%. Afterwards its population decreased and in 2020 it approximately 40% additionally in the future, its population will increased. Moreover, Malaysia had silghtly lower population in cities than Philippines in 1970, later on its population in cities had increased and become higher than Philippines. In 2020 it almost 70%, although it will increased in 2030 and 2040.
Furthermore, Thiland population in cities were around less than 20% over the period it increased till 1990, after then it remain stable approximately higher than 20% over the period till 2020. It will increased soon in 2030 and 2040. On the other hand, Indonesia initally had lowest population in city less than 20%, over the period its population in cities had increased. Subsequently it become second highest country. whose population living in cities in 2020. However, in future it might be start decreasing after 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four countries and the time frame provided. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, you state that the Philippines had a 'significant increasing trend all time' and then later claim it decreased to 40% in 2020, which contradicts the visual data. Furthermore, the description of Malaysia's trend as 'dramatically decreasing' after 2000 is factually incorrect based on the graph. The overview is present but lacks clarity due to these misinterpretations. To improve, ensure you carefully track the lines on the graph before writing, as accurate data reporting is the foundation of Task 1.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'in addition' and 'to begin with' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is frequently disrupted by grammatical errors and unclear referencing. For example, the transition 'However, Indonesia had significantly trend all over period' is confusing and lacks a clear connection to the previous point. Paragraphing is present, but the internal logic within paragraphs needs to be strengthened to ensure a smoother progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'population'. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'fractuation trend' (fluctuating) and 'significantly trend' (significant trend). Spelling errors like 'silghtly' and 'Thiland' also detract from the quality of the writing. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'a gradual rise', and ensure that you use these terms in the correct grammatical context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Thailand mainly remain stable'), tense usage (e.g., 'it will increased'), and missing articles or prepositions (e.g., 'in 2020 it approximately 40%'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'whose population living in cities in 2020'. A greater focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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