Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the percentage of the population that are living in several cities like Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia in years between 1970 and 2040.
overall,Malaysia is recorded by far the highest figures throughout the period, whereas Indonesia remained consistently the lowest . the most noticeable trend was the significance fap between malaysia and Philippines in contrast of percentage difference between them.
in the year of 1970 , Malaysia stood at almost 30 percent of its population living in cities. making its compactable with the number of Philippines. but the number reached to highest in yar of 2030 ti 2040 years prediction . this slope was followed by indonesia too. the percentage of people living in cities was almost 10 % in 1970 but as it is growing up it would reach to near 60 percent in the following year of 2030-40 period.
turning to the thailand, the starting population living in cities was almost 18 % in 1970 but it ended up increasing to 40 % in prediction. among the predicted population living in cities around the year of 2030-40 period it was the lowest among the all.
overall the highlight if data gives us a clear comparison of how fast the population of different city are increasing
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the highest and lowest trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the claim that Malaysia and the Philippines were 'compactable' (comparable) in 1970 is not supported by the data, which shows a clear gap. Furthermore, the description of the trends for Indonesia and Thailand is vague and lacks precise data points. While the overview is present, it lacks the necessary detail to fully satisfy the requirements for a higher band. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed and that comparisons are more specific.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by poor sentence structure and weak transitions. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'in the year of'. Paragraphing is present but the internal structure of the paragraphs is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. The overview is placed at the beginning, which is good, but the lack of clear linking phrases between the body paragraphs makes the argument feel fragmented.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and contains several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'significance fap' (significant gap), 'compactable' (comparable), and 'yar' (year). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. There is a reliance on basic descriptors, and the student struggles to use appropriate terminology for describing trends (e.g., 'growing up' instead of 'increasing' or 'rising'). To improve, the student should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to data trends and improving spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with article usage ('the thailand'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence fragments. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with many sentences lacking proper capitalization or ending with incorrect punctuation. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, these are often faulty and impede clarity. The majority of sentences contain errors, which significantly affects the readability of the text. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors would be highly beneficial.
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