Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates proportion of population residing in urban areas between 1970 and 2020 and
Overall, it is evident that population of urban areas has recorded a general rise while Malaysia accounts for greatest surge. The line representing Philippines fluctuates a lot indicating unstable change in urban residents.
In 1970, Malaysia had 30% of its population residing in cities. In the following years the figure surged to more than 70%. Similarly, Indonesia experienced a steep increase in urban population rising to almost 50% from 15% by 2020.
In contrast, Thailand had a relatively slower rise. In the span of five decades, only 10% population added to the initial data of 20%. Philippines stood equal to Malaysia in 1970 but the numbers dipped following 1990 but regained its steadiness later on.
Overall, all regions are expected to have an increase in urban population over next two decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the overview is incomplete as it fails to mention the future predictions (2030 and 2040) in the summary. Furthermore, the introduction is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence. You have selected key features, such as Malaysia's significant growth and the fluctuations in the Philippines, but the analysis lacks the depth required for a higher band. To improve, ensure you provide a complete overview that covers the entire timeframe, including the projections, and ensure your response meets the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the structure is hampered by the incomplete introduction. While there is a logical progression from the overview to the specific data points, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical. For instance, 'Similarly' and 'In contrast' are used correctly, but the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The final sentence is isolated and does not integrate well with the preceding analysis. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring a more cohesive link between the data points would enhance the clarity of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'residing', 'surged', and 'fluctuates'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'unstable change' and 'regained its steadiness'. Additionally, there are missing articles throughout the text, such as 'illustrates proportion' (should be 'the proportion') and 'population of urban areas' (should be 'the population'). To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure consistent use of articles and prepositions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. These include missing articles ('the' before 'proportion', 'the' before 'greatest surge'), subject-verb agreement issues, and incomplete sentence structures in the introduction. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall fluency. To improve, pay closer attention to basic grammatical rules, particularly the use of articles and ensuring that all sentences are complete and grammatically sound.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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