Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTATES THE PERSENTAGE OF THE POPULATION IN FOUR ASIAN COUNTRIES ;IVING IN CITIES (PHILIPPINES, MALAYSIA, THAILAND, INDONESIA) BWETWEEN 1970 AND 2040.
OVERALL, MALAYSIA FOLOWED A PRONOUNCED UPWARD TREND, MEANWHILE PHILIPPINES REMAINED FLUCTUATED. DESCRIBE THE STRONGEST TREND WITH STARTING POINT , IN MALAYSIA THERE WERE 30 PERSENTAGE OF TOTAL POPULATION IN 1970 WHICH IS INCREASED MARKEDLY AND IN YEAR 2040 THUS POPULATION ILL BE ROUGHLY 85 %. HOWEVER, THERE ARE SHOWN A LOTS OF FLUCUATION IN MALAYSIA CITY.IN YEAR 1970 THERE WERE 12 PERSENTAGE OF POPULATION IN THAT CITY. THEN IN SLIGHLY INCREASED AND AGAIN DECREASED IN 2010 WITH 41 % OF POPULATION. AND AGAIN STARTED RISE THE PREDICTION OF POPULATION IN THIS CITY WILL BE AROUND 50 PERCENT IN2040.
DESCRIBE THE REMAININNG TRENDS INDONESIA POPULATION WAS LEAST AMONG THE OTHER THREE CITIES IT WAS 11 PERCENT IN 1970 AND IT IS INCREASED GRADUALLY THROUGHT THE YEARS . WHEREAES, THE POPULATION IN THAILAND WILL NOT PREDICTED MUCH MORE IS WIIL SEE ROUGHLY LESS THEN HALF PERCENT IN UPCOMING YEARS.
OVERALL, AS PER GRAPH IT IS SHOWS THAT IN THE UPCOMING YEARS THERE WILL SHOWS A LOTS OF POPULATION IN THIS CITIES.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to summarize the data, but it fails to accurately report the main features. There are significant inaccuracies in the data interpretation; for instance, you describe Malaysia as having 'a lot of fluctuation' when the graph shows a steady upward trend. Furthermore, the description of the remaining trends is confusing and lacks clarity, particularly regarding Thailand and Indonesia. The overview is also problematic as it is vague and does not accurately reflect the overall trends shown in the graph. To improve, ensure you carefully read the data points and distinguish between actual trends and predictions, and focus on selecting the most significant features rather than listing individual data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as the transition 'MEANWHILE PHILIPPINES REMAINED FLUCTUATED' which does not logically connect to the previous sentence. The internal structure of the paragraphs is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four countries. The use of headings like 'DESCRIBE THE STRONGEST TREND' is inappropriate for an academic report. To improve, use linking words more naturally and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus that contributes to a coherent summary of the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The range of vocabulary is limited and there are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'ILLUSTATES', 'PERSENTAGE', 'BWETWEEN', and 'THROUGHT'. The use of 'PERSENTAGE' instead of 'percentage' and 'CITY' instead of 'country' indicates a lack of precision. The vocabulary is repetitive, and the phrasing is often unnatural, which hinders the clarity of the report. To improve, focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic terms and practice using precise vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'gradual increase', and 'significant growth'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('IT IS SHOWS', 'THERE WILL SHOWS') and incorrect verb tenses ('WILL NOT PREDICTED'). Sentence structures are often simplistic or fragmented, and punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with the use of spaces and capitalization. These errors frequently impede communication and make the text difficult to read. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the correct use of tenses when describing past data versus future predictions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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