Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates how many people living in cities of four Asian countries between 1972 to 2020, with predicting the year of 2030 and 2040.
Overall, it can be seen that the number of people living in the cities of Malaysia and Indonesia has the largest proportion, while Philippines and Thailand have some fluctuation over the period.
Looking at the chart in more detail, it is evident that the number of people who lives in Philippines starts with 32% and increased with 49%, by 1990, then after a dramatic fall it rose to 55%, by the prediction of 2040. One the other hand, Malaysia has the largest proportion begin with 30% in 1970 and soared to 86% in 2040's prediction.
Turning to the remaining data of Thailand and Indonesia, it is clear that Thailand has the 2nd lowest population in 1970, which was 18%; after that it rise approximately 30% and remained stable between 1990 to 2020; then it have predicted to almost 50% for 2040. Indonesia has the smallest percentage in 1970, which was 14% then starts growing until reached 54%, then predicted to the second largest proportion over these countries at about 63% for 2030 to 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task, identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons. You successfully highlighted the overall growth in urban populations and identified the key countries. However, the analysis is slightly hampered by inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state Malaysia began at 30% in 1970, but the graph shows it closer to 35-40%. Additionally, the description of the Philippines' trend is somewhat confusing due to the phrasing 'increased with 49%'. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the data points with the axes and use more precise language when describing trends, such as 'peaked at' or 'experienced a steady decline'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Looking at the chart in more detail', and 'Turning to the remaining data' to guide the reader. However, the flow within paragraphs is occasionally mechanical. For instance, the transition between the Philippines and Malaysia in the second body paragraph feels abrupt. Furthermore, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'the remaining data of Thailand and Indonesia', which could be phrased more naturally. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would elevate this score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'fluctuation', 'dramatic fall', and 'soared'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'with predicting the year of 2030' is awkward; 'with predictions for 2030' would be more natural. You also use 'it have predicted' instead of 'it is predicted'. While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the score. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that your word forms are consistently accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and prepositions. Examples include 'how many people living in cities' (should be 'how many people lived'), 'number of people who lives' (should be 'live'), and 'it rise approximately' (should be 'it rose'). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistent use of past tense when describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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