Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph depicts the changes in the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities over the period between 1970 to 2020, in addition with the prediction for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, it is observed that the Malaysia will have the highest percentage of population among all 4 cities, whereas the lowest percentage of population will notice in Thailand.
In 1970 The percentage of Malaysia population was 30%, While Philippines has 32% of population. However, Thailand and Indonesia population was under 20%.
From 1970 - 1980 The Thailand population increased by 1%, similarly Indonesia population also increased by 1%. While Malaysia increased by 10% and Thailand increased by 4%.
The percentage of Philippines population seems to be fluctuated from 1980 to 2040, similarly Thailand also having the same fluctuated trend of its population percentage over the period.
Malaysia population rapidly increases and climbed to peak of around 80% in 2040 which will be the highest population. The Indonesia followed the same upward trend, and it will reach to 60% in 2040, however it was the lowest population in 1970, but it will be the 2nd highest population among all 4 cities in 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the start and end points and the overall trends. However, the analysis is hampered by inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, you state that Thailand had the lowest percentage in 1970, but the graph shows Indonesia was lower. Additionally, the description of trends is sometimes confusing, such as claiming the Philippines and Thailand have a 'fluctuated' trend when the lines are generally upward. While you identify the peak for Malaysia, the overall summary lacks a clear, cohesive overview of the comparative growth rates. To improve, ensure you carefully verify the data points against the visual information and focus on grouping countries by similar trends rather than listing them individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'similarly' and 'while' to connect unrelated ideas. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. Furthermore, the referencing is sometimes unclear; for example, referring to the countries as 'cities' throughout the text is factually incorrect and confusing for the reader. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There is significant repetition of basic terms like 'percentage', 'population', and 'increased'. You also consistently refer to the countries as 'cities', which is a lexical error that impacts the accuracy of your report. Some collocations are unnatural, such as 'will notice in Thailand' instead of 'will be seen in Thailand'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise reporting verbs (e.g., 'surged', 'remained stable', 'gradually rose') to describe the data trends more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the Malaysia will have', 'Thailand population increased'), incorrect article usage, and tense inconsistencies (e.g., 'seems to be fluctuated'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and sentence boundaries. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.