Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph illustrates the comparison of past and future, population living in the cities in the four Asian countries-Phillippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia.

Overall, it is crystal clear that in every country the percentage of the peoples who moved from rural areas to urban areas has rapidly inlined.

By fleeting glance, Malaysia has been noticed that it had a sharply growth rate of the people moved in urban areas from 1970 to 2020 and in the upcoming years it will increase 10%-15% more. Moving furthur, Phillippines had grown from 32% to aproximately 47% in between 1970 to 1990 but in the next two decades it had fallen 10% and it is predicted that in future it will be came to 55%

Moving further, at a large scale of people of Indonesia had been shifted to cities from 1970 to 2020 , it has a huge chance that in future the percentage of this will be slightly grow. Thailand had increased 10% in the year 1970 to 1990. But in the next four decades it almost remain same. It is predicated that in future it will rapidly grow.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have identified the main trends for the four countries, which is a positive start. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, you mention Malaysia will increase by '10%-15%' without clearly stating the starting or ending points, and your description of the Philippines' trend is inaccurate based on the graph provided. To improve, ensure you select key data points (start, end, and significant turning points) to support your descriptions. You also need to avoid vague language like 'at a large scale' and instead use specific percentages to illustrate the trends. The overview is present but could be more clearly linked to the overall trajectory of the data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often awkward or mechanical. Phrases like 'By fleeting glance' and 'Moving furthur' are not standard academic transitions. Additionally, the logical flow between sentences is sometimes disrupted by grammatical errors, making it difficult to follow the progression of the data. To improve, use more natural linking words such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Subsequently' to connect your ideas and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear, distinct aspect of the graph.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and contains several non-standard collocations and word-choice errors. Examples include 'inlined' (likely meant 'increased'), 'peoples' (should be 'people'), and 'predicated' (likely meant 'predicted'). These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your message. While you attempt to use some descriptive language, the lack of precision in terminology (e.g., 'huge chance' instead of 'significant likelihood') prevents you from achieving a higher score. Focus on learning common collocations used in data analysis, such as 'upward trend', 'remained stable', and 'projected to reach'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that affect readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('it will be came to'), incorrect verb tenses ('it had fallen'), and awkward sentence construction ('Malaysia has been noticed that it had a sharply growth rate'). While you attempt to use complex structures, they are often inaccurate. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures before attempting more complex ones. Pay close attention to verb forms and ensure that your sentences are grammatically complete. Proofreading for common errors like 'peoples' vs 'people' will also help improve your accuracy.

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