Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line of the graph at the very bottom illustrates the percentage of population living in cities in Indonesia.In1970 around 10% percent of the whole population was living in cities.By the year 1990 more of than the 20% of the whole population had shifted to cities which shows a positive trend for people shifting from villages and towns to cities.According to the predictions about future around 40% of the population will be living in cities.

Now if we look at the second line from the bottom we can the population of Thailand living in cities.We can see that in 1970 around 20% of the people were living in cities and the other 80% used to live in villages or towns. But according to predictions around half the population will be living in big cities.

As we analyse the graph further we can the population of Malaysia.According to the information given 30% of the population lived in cities but as the world kept getting more and more modern due to science the people started to leave villages.By the year 2040 80% of the people might shift into to cities for better oppurtunities.

At last we can see the population of Philippines.In 1970 only about 30% used to live in cities which is roughly the same number as Malaysia.But by the year 2040 only 50% of the population might get shifted to a city which is relatively a small number as compared to the previous stats.

This graph shows us in 1970 the cities of Indonesia were almost empty as around all the population used to live in villages and now the as the world is evolving more and more people want to live in cities for a better life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the four countries and the time frame, but it fails to provide a clear overview or a summary of the main trends. The analysis is fragmented, focusing on each country individually rather than making meaningful comparisons. For instance, the description of Indonesia and Thailand is purely descriptive without highlighting the relative growth rates or the overall shift across the region. The conclusion is also somewhat inaccurate, as it claims cities were 'almost empty' in 1970, which is an overstatement not supported by the data. To improve, you must include an introductory overview that identifies the main trends and ensure that comparisons are made between the countries throughout the report.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is mechanical and repetitive. Each paragraph follows the same structure, which makes the writing feel formulaic. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link the data points effectively; for example, phrases like 'Now if we look at' and 'As we analyse the graph further' are informal and repetitive. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between sentences is often abrupt. Using a wider variety of linking words such as 'In contrast', 'Conversely', or 'Meanwhile' would help improve the flow and logical connection between the different countries' data.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic phrases like 'the population of' and 'living in cities'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'the world kept getting more and more modern due to science' and 'might get shifted to a city'. These phrases are not natural in an academic context. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise terminology, such as 'urbanisation rates', 'projected figures', or 'a significant upward trend', and avoid informal phrasing that does not suit an Academic Task 1 report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include 'more of than the 20% of the whole population', 'we can the population' (missing verb), and 'shift into to cities'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods in several places. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are frequent enough to distract the reader. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your sentence structures are complete and grammatically sound.

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