Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph provides details about the percentage of the population across four Asian countries spending life in cities from 1970 to today, with projections for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, population of malaysia escalated from second highest to top of allover, whereas, the number of citizens in thailand mostly plateaued and at the end of period become lowest population holder.
In 1970, Malaysia started with approximately with 30\% of resident in urban area, surged to 40\% become highest among allover in 1980, then it will skyrocketed to 83\% in 2024. In contrast, Philippines started with 32\%, increased to 50\% of total population and predicting to reach the peak about 54\% in 2040.
Conversely, Thailand began roughly with 18\% in 1970, rose to 29\% in 1990, remain standardize for a decade and expect proliferate to 48\% in 2040. Furthermore, Indonesia commencing from a meager base of below 15\% in 1970, gradually reached approximately 29\% in 2020 and estimate to reach almost 47\% at the end of period 2024.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and comparing the four countries. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state Malaysia reached 83% in 2024, whereas the graph shows this figure for 2040. Similarly, you mention 2024 as an end-of-period date for Indonesia, which is not supported by the graph's 2040 projection. While the main features are identified, the misinterpretation of the timeline and specific data points limits the clarity of the summary. To improve, ensure that the data points are accurately transcribed from the graph to the text.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Conversely', and 'Furthermore' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'at the end of period become lowest population holder'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical. To improve, focus on using transition words more naturally and ensuring that each sentence clearly follows the logic of the previous one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several instances of unnatural word choice and collocation errors. Phrases like 'spending life in cities', 'allover', and 'remain standardize' are non-idiomatic. While you attempt to use more sophisticated verbs like 'escalated', 'surged', and 'proliferate', the misuse of these terms impacts the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on learning common collocations used in data description, such as 'urban population' instead of 'resident in urban area' and 'projected to reach' instead of 'predicting to reach'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'population of malaysia escalated'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'it will skyrocketed'), and missing articles or prepositions (e.g., 'started with approximately with 30%'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for tense consistency and basic sentence construction.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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