Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph below provides some information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities during 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, it is evident all the countries followed an upward trend throughout the period, with some experiencing more substantial growth than others.
Turning to the details, Philipines experienced a steady increase, rising from around 32% to nearly 55% during the period from 1970 to 2040. Whereas, Malaysia the figure stood at 30% in 1970 then it will surge and reached the peak of approximately 85% in 2040.
As for the remaining figures, Thailand and Indonesia experienced gradually rise compare to other two countries. In 1970, the percentage of the population in Thailand the figure stood at around 18%, By 2040 the trend will grow modestly and reached at almost 50%.
Moreover, the percentage of total city population in Indonesia the figure started at nearly 15% but it experienced the most upward trend and reached at around 60%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four countries and included the required timeframes, including the predictions. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, you mention Malaysia will 'surge' to 85%, but the graph shows it reaching this level by 2040. Additionally, some comparisons are vague, such as stating Indonesia experienced the 'most upward trend' without explicitly contrasting the starting and ending points clearly. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that comparisons between countries are more explicitly linked using comparative language.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'Turning to the details', and 'Moreover' to signal transitions. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by repetitive sentence structures and awkward phrasing, such as 'the percentage of the population in Thailand the figure stood at'. This creates a mechanical feel. To improve, focus on varying your linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., using 'the former' or 'the latter') is used to avoid repeating the subject of your sentences unnecessarily.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'steady increase', and 'modestly'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'experienced gradually rise' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'experienced a gradual rise'. Additionally, the phrasing 'the figure stood at' is repeated multiple times, which limits the sophistication of your writing. To improve, try to incorporate more varied verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'climb', 'plateau', or 'significant growth', and ensure you use the correct word forms (e.g., noun vs. adjective).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'it will surge and reached' (tense inconsistency), 'experienced gradually rise' (missing article/incorrect form), and 'compare to other two countries' (should be 'compared to the other two'). Furthermore, some sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'the percentage of total city population in Indonesia the figure started at', which contains redundant subjects. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when discussing future predictions versus past data will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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